Health Check

Have I mentioned that I'm off to India for the Imagine Cup finals? Not in the last ten minutes Rob....

Anyhoo, I am.  And had my jabs. And apparently anti-malaria tablets are required too. I did some research on the interweb and it seems malaria is a really bad thing. From the description of what goes on when you get it pretty much everything bad happens except for your head exploding. So I need some tablets.

The tablets that look the best bet need a prescription. So off I go to the health centre for assistance.  We have a super health centre at Hull. You can just turn up and usually get seen by a nurse within minutes. So ten minutes after I arrive I go into consulting 1 to sort things out.

When they type my name in to the computer it flashes up red. Apparently I also need a health check. Something to do with my age.  So I tell the nurse my height, get weighed and have my blood pressure taken. Then the nurse asks "What about drinking?".  I saythat it is a bit early for me, but if she wants to have a slug that is fine by me.  She was of course asking about my drinking habits, which are fairly abstemious (although I am off to the pub tonight - pure coincidence). Then we cover smoking (which I get right this time), and finally I get my prescription. 

Happy Birthday Me

Thanks for the cards people, even the rude ones.

Bill Gates is  a rich bloke. In fact there must be lots of people with more money than me. I've even heard that there are some men who are better looking (never seen one, but you do hear stories).

Well, I hope all these richer and better looking people have birthdays as least half as good as the one I've just had. Perfect weather, family and friends round, BBQ in garden, Apples to Apples to finish off. The best times. Thanks for coming people.

Number one daughter got me this fan you can program to display important messages. And I got a flying saucer.

Free Drinks Coasters

Free. Once in a lifetime offer. This tasteful set of matching drinks coasters will enliven any party or social occasion. Emblazoned with "MR DVD 8X Write speed" on one side and a spiral motif on the other which ends at EXACTLY THE SAME PLACE on all four disks these precision made coasters are also fitted with a central ventilation hole which provides for smooth airflow around the beverage placed thereon.

This is hopefully a limited offer, although given the performance of my Nero software and new DVD burner it could well the the start of a long production run for these special and decreasingly unique items.

Let me know if you want them.

Panda to your every whim

Some of my friends are a bit mad (well duh?). Others might be.

Rory, well, you be the judge. I've only met him a couple of times and in person he is one of the most level headed, professional and sensible people you could happen across. But put him in charge of a web site and really strange things happen. Really strange. His blog is well written and well weird.  And now he has made this Panda thing, which takes strange to a new level and then adds strangeness. I really have no idea what is going on. But I quite like it.  And you might too. Leave your sensibilities at the door and take a look.

Webcasts and Free Food

Yes, it really is Hull centre...

I did my third webcast tonight. You can find the gory details here. After that we all went up town for a meal with the Microsoft Imagine Cup team. You would think that living in Hull for 30 odd years would mean that I would find the restaurant easily. No such luck. And proceedings weren't helped by the lady in the SatNav being totally unable to plot a route to our destination. Anyhoo, once we hooked up with the rest of the gang a great time was had by all. And Hull centre looked splendid.

Retail Therapy with Rats

Ratty (not an original name - but there you go)

Took a day off work today to go to Leeds to do some shopping. Not got anything special in mind, or any desire to buy any clothes (which is just as well in my case). Anyhoo, we went to "The Only Place In The Country Where Rob Can Buy Things That Fit 'Cos He Is Tall (tm)" shop and took a look at all the stuff that we wouldn't like to buy even if we could afford it.  They even had a jacket with specially shortened sleeves. Clever.

On the way out, having bought nothing, I picked up a catalogue. This had lots of pictures of soulful tall people lounging on a beach, including one chap who was playing the bongos in a dodgy hoody. Nuff said.

So we went to IKEA and bought two rats and a shower curtain. Much more fun. And they do meatballs in the cafe.

Degree on Sea

Can you find yourself here? (a bigger version is in the pictures section)

Went up to Scarborough today to do the degree thing. What a day. Magnificent weather and a great bunch of students. Very nice.

Sun, sea, sand, sky and Scarborough

The Uncertain Voice of Rob

At least when you get up early you get some nice pictures. A full size image is in my pictures directory.

Went up town first thing this morning to do a paper review thing for the local BBC station. Oh the things I do in my continuous quest for fame and fortune. It seemed to go OK, even though I'd only prepared three items and the presenter asked me, live on air, for my fourth one. Ho hum. At least it got me into the office early.

Finding Laura

I did a degree ceremony today. By "did" I mean acted as graduand's marshal. This involves telling everyone what to do at the start and then getting the students who have not got their degrees yet (called graduands) down to the stage so that they can go and get their degrees and become graduates.

It is great fun. We use City Hall and, although it can get a bit hot, there is always a fantastic atmosphere in amongst the nervousness.

Today things went OK. Except for one thing. I lost Laura. One of the jobs that I have to do is "slot in" people who register late. This means that they don't have a seat in the main hall, and so they sit down the front, next to me, and it is my job to put them in line in the right place so that they can get their degrees along with all the rest. Laura was one of the students I was due to slot in during the presentations. Things were going well as I fetched down the row into which Laura was due to be placed so I asked her to stand up and get ready to go. Unfortunately I then made a fatal mistake. I looked the other way to see how the queue was going. When I looked back Laura had melted into a sea of students wearing gowns.

Now, put a gown and hat on a bunch of people and they all look rather similar. Add to that my atrocious memory for faces and you have trouble. So I had to start asking people "Are you Laura?" to try and find the right person. 

Unfortunately, people who are coming down for their degrees are not actually in a fit state to answer such questions. They are usually concentrating on remembering who they are so that they can walk across the stage at the right time, worrying about curtsying, and generally being a bag of nerves.

I've actually done the graduation thing  as a student myself, and all this is quite normal. So when a graduand has someone towering over them asking "Are you Laura?" they immediately think "I'm not sure? Should I be? Why does he want to know?". Panic ensues. Two of the blokes in the queue told me that yes, they were Laura.  This baffled me, and we were just entering a downward spiral of confusion when I spotted her and ushered her into the right place. Just in time.  I don't think anyone noticed. And Laura went across the stage just fine.

Shaky Hands..

I'm going to claim I was going for an artistic effect...

I was down in City Hall again today doing my degree warmup thing. Warmup is a bit of an understatement, it was like an oven in there during the afternoon. I took a picture of "my lot" in the audience. Unfortunately I forgot to hold the camera still. I know I wasn't shaking from the cold....

Upstaged by a dog...

Did the final Ace lecture today. Another splendid bunch of students and a good time had by all.

Danni warms up the audience...

Digby the digital dog drives them wild.

I don't know. You spend forty minutes showing off amazing technology, telling wonderfull jokes and so on. Then Digby comes on and kicks a ball and the crowd goes wild!

Anyway, it was great fun. I've put a little page together for those of you what want to have a go at the programming side of things. You can get the program I was writing from here. And you can find out about starting to program here.

Too hot to post..

It is just too hot and sticky to post blogs at the moment. My room here is like an oven and even the fan (which was cheap from Tesco and sounds like a Jumbo Jet in an echo chamber) doesn't make things much better.

So I'm not going to post tonight. Except that I just have. So this whole blog thing has just not worked at all today.

I hate this weather.

Ace Wednesday

Ace audience

Another day, another ACE talk.  Another great audience. I've no idea how Danni does it, but she gets in premium students each time. Anyway, today Digby sort of behaved himself, and of course got more applause than anyone else. I'm thinking about giving him his own blog on this site, but I'm not sure he needs the extra exposure..

Blurry Digby

Bye Bye Orange

I'm in the process of saying goodbye to an old friend. I've had a mobile phone with Orange since a long time ago, when black and white screens were cool. But now I'm leaving them and shacking up with T-Mobile. I gave Orange a chance, I spoke to their "Customer Retention" team (which sounds really scary) but at the end of the day they can't offer me what I want.

What I want is unlimited use of the internet on my mobile phone for 7.50 a month. I want to be able to use my mobile to browse the internet, check my email and download the odd file without worrying about the cost (which up until now has been horrendous). T-Mobile will let me do this. Orange won't. The nearest I can get with Orange (and this is a tip folks) is that if I use a Pay As You Go connection I can pay a pound for as much internet as I want for a single day. This is great for trips away and the odd demonstration. But I want the mobile internet as part of my life. So it is goodbye to Orange for a while.

I'm pretty sure that eventually Orange will have to come up with something similar, but I don't particularly want to wait. I've got a taste for mobile email and that means using the internet  a lot.  And I want it  now. So it is goodbye to my Orange contract and hello for a year with T-Mobile.

Hot Stuff for ACE week

 
What a great audience looks like.

I did another talk to a bunch of students from local schools today. The place was packed and it was a bit warm, but the whole thing went really well and the audience were great. For the first time I put Digby (my robot dog) on a black cloth. He loved it, he could find the ball and then fail to kick it really well.

Non-sensible Sunday

I've hidden a stormtrooper in this picture somewhere. Can you use your powers of observation to find him?

On Sunday sensible people stay in bed for a while, potter about, read the paper and generally relax in preparation for the coming week. They do not spend the day rising at 4:30 am, driving 220 miles to London, walking round a film and comic conference and then driving back again. Horay for sensible people. Meant the place was not so busy, and we got a chance to look around. And see a talk from two of the stars of Serenity, a good film that you really should have seen by now. I've put a whole bunch of pictures up on Flickr.

Open Day

Some of the audience, apologies to those who arrived after I took the picture...

We had an open day today. In spite (or perhaps because of) the football match we still had a good turnout. Those that came along seemed to have a good time, and they went away with wherewouldyouthink T shirts and a smile. Even though I told some of my jokes.....

Insight Insight

Did a talk at an Insight event today. I was telling all about mobile development to a bunch of academics. Great bunch of folks who seemed to enjoy the talk. I never got around to telling the orange for a head joke, but you can Google it if you like.  If you were at the talk, I promised a bunch of links and downloads. You can find them in the presentations part of the site here.  I got to stay in a proper english hotel room for a change.

For your information, hotel owners of the world, this is what we english expect to see in our rooms when we arrive. Not a minibar loaded with expensive items or a coffee filter thing which only makes one cup of luke warm drink. This is how you do it.  And don't forget the biscuits.

Saabarama

Drove down to Kidderminster today in a rented car. I like rented cars. They are always shiny and new and somebody else's problem if they go wrong. Today's car was a shiny Saab. It had loads of buttons, including one labeled ESP which I never dared press. It had separate air conditioning settings for the driver and passenger sides . Number one sun set his to minimum and I maxed mine out in an attempt to create a weather front down the middle of the car as we drove in to work.  It also had a feature which reminded me of one of my favourite jokes.

Driver : "I pressed this button and the car instantly drove straight into the sea!"
Mechanic : "That was the cruise control sir".

Anhyoo. Nice car.

Jokewatching

I think I'm turming into the comedy equivalent of those birdwatching people who spend all day in a field with a pair of binoculors looking for the great crested whatnot. These folks think nothing of spending a whole day standing in the rain wating to get a glimpse of some rare species or other. They must leave home each day with hope burning in their heart that they will actually catch sight of their goal.

This is now the way that I watch comedy programmes. Last night I sat through a whole episode of "My Family". It must have been in the hope that at some point something funny was going to happen. Of course, it didn't. The audience seemed to think that it was hilarious. The same "joke" was repeated numerous times and they laughed obediently each time. I'm not sure how the BBC management do this:

Scene : TV Studio before recording an episode

Stage hand One :  "We've recording a comedy show next"
Stage hand Two: "OK, I'll get a fresh cannister of laughing gas and plug it into the air conditioning"
Stage hand One: "Wait, it's 'My Family', better make that two cannisters"

I can imagine the audience on the way home, having hysterics at their bus tickets and the markings on the road.