Only I would have an eye test on Friday 13th. At least I didn't go for laser surgery (I've done some research on this, and it turns out that they don't actually put lasers into your eyes - so it seems a bit pointless really).
Anyhoo, it was off down to Asda and into the chair:
"Can you read that chart over there on the wall?"
I wanted to use my favourite gag:
"Have your eyes ever been checked?"
"No, they've always been blue"
- but the chap was more interested in giving me a proper eye test than exchanging old jokes. It turns out that my eyes have changed a bit, nay a lot. And that I now need varifocals. These are the ones that let you closely examine someones' nasal hair whilst appearing to look over their shoulder into the distance. I can't wait.
Apparently the difference between my long and short sight disabilities is so great that there was some discussion as to whether or not varifocals will work. I can imagine the scene behind the counter:
First Optician: "I'm not sure that this is a good idea"
Second Optitican: "Why not?"
First Optician: "Well, the power of the lenses. In the wrong hands they could...."
Second Optician: "Yes, I know all about that, only a man with unusally strong mental abilities could control them and use them as a force for good"
(looks over at me trying to read the numbers on my Smartphone...)
Second Optician: "..and I think we might just have found him."
Me: "Is that a three or a five?"
The new glasses arrive in a few weeks.