As a much travelled person I feel that now I can reveal a couple of my top travel tips.
Don’t wear brand new clothes to travel
I had this theory that my nice new deep indigo jeans would be both comfortable and stylish and send a message of quiet sophistication to the others at the summit. They sent a message alright, but not the one I wanted. I’d forgotten that some brand new clothes are apt to shed their colours on the wearer. When I washed my hands on the plane I noticed that my fingers had acquired a grimy tinge that was quite hard to remove. At each handshake with people I subsequently met I noticed that they were recoiling slightly as they discovered that I seemed to be suffering from what can only be described as “Blue Hand Disease”. Oh well.
Make sure you know what the switches in your hotel room do
My hotel room is splendid. Everything I need, comfortable bed and nice and quiet once I’d turned off the enormous fan heater in the corner. The bathroom is interesting though. It has two light switches. One makes a light come on. The other turns on a massively powerful heating lamp and also starts the bathroom extractor fan which makes a most impressive roar. When you are wandering around in a jet-lagged stupor at three in the morning it is best that you know which is which. Otherwise you will flick a switch and then immediately think you are in the middle of an alien abduction, which is quite invigorating in its own way, but does make it hard to get back to sleep again.