Haircut Sir?

Had my hair cut today. Not a thing I do lightly, or often for that matter. Still, it needed doing. I'm not that keen on being the one in the family with the longest locks. Don't think number one wife and number one daughter are that keen either. Anyhoo, my head is now much lighter, and washing my hair takes a lot less time.

I was amazed by the amount of my hair that was left on the floor after my cut. It put me in mind of a wizard wheeze, where you dump a huge pile of hair behind the chair of your victim as they have their trim. Then watch their face when they stand up and see how much has been removed.....

Thanks For Coming

If you came to see us today during our Admissions Event, thank you for coming. I mentioned a couple of things that you might find interesting and promised I'd put the links up. Here they are:

The phone screen questions that you ask an aspiring software engineer are here and the story of the Hull student who is now working in the games industry is here.

Games on Vista

Today I did something I've not done for a very long time. I played a game on my Windows PC. I picked up a cheap copy of World in Conflict yesterday and loaded it onto the notebook. I stopped playing games on my PC a while back because that's what I buy consoles for, and anyway they clutter up the hard disk and get in the way. That's changed slightly now, since I can install games on an external USB drive and Vista seems to manage game installation a lot better. There was no footling around looking for different versions of DirectX or putting the game in some strange place on the hard disk. It installed with a minimum of fuss and pretty soon I was in the thick of battle.

It worked really well. The game can get pretty complex, and it would be really difficult to control everything using a gamepad, you really need to keyboard and the mouse to keep on top of what is going on. And, thanks to the fairly meaty graphics support in the notebook, I was able to work at a resolution much higher than you normally get from console games, even the newer ones. It was great fun.

We are working on setting up one of our labs as a games room, where students and staff can play these games. We are just sorting out licenses and access at the moment. And I'm getting a bit of practice in.....

Portion Control

I followed a butcher's van to work today. Writ large across the back was the impressive claim "Specialists in Portion Control". I thought this sounded great. I can just imagine how it works.

The scene, an Embassy Banquet. Posh types with beautiful girls on their arms are milling around around making small talk and dancing to a small orchestra which is playing expensive tunes. In the corner a white hatted master chef is serving food with an immaculate silver service. Suddenly a man bursts through the crowd to the table:

Man: "Nobody move!"

The orchestra falls silent. Every body stops moving. All eyes turn to the man, who reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a warrant card with a shiny silver badge on it.

Man: "Mike Zuton. Portion Control."

The crowd gasps in amazement and fear.

Mike Zuton, to the chef: "You. Step away from that ladle."

The chef lays the ladle down and steps back, his eyes flicking around nervously. Mike Zuton pulls a small measuring jug from his pocket, fills the ladle with steaming soup and then empties it into the jug. There is absolute silence in the room as he carefully scrutinises the scale on the side.

Mike Zuton: "Just as I thought. Five mills over. You're going down this time Maurice"

Chef: "But, but, I swear it was an honest mistake"

Mike Zuton: "Yeah, right. Just like those extra Ferrero Rocher you've been sneaking onto the desert trolley. The ambassador isn't made of money you know."

Mike Zuton gets a whistle out of his pocket and blows a loud blast. Twenty uniformed officers burst through the french windows.

Mike Zuton: "Captain, get the Baguette Squad down into the kitchen, and remember, anything over fifteen centimetres, I want to know about it...."

..and so on.

Then again, perhaps it isn't like that at all.

I was funnier when I was younger

For some reason (actually a search to find the seven signs of ageing - don't ask) I found my way back to my old Crazy World site today. I had a read of some of my old posts, circa 2005.

I was much funnier then.

Perhaps the extra  cares of the world in the intervening three years have worn me down. Perhaps I have run out of whimsey.  Either way, I have now resolved to up the light hearted content (and probably the number of puns) and really, really write another Trip Hazard episode.

And maybe a sequel to The Little Brown Ikea Pencil of Doom.

You have been warned.

Update on 2008-01-31 16:58 by Rob

I've been worrying about this. Perhaps I'm just more grown up than I used to be. After all, by my reckoning I've got three of the seven signs of ageing.

Science Graduation Ceremony

Today I did my final routine for this set of ceremonies. These were some students from our department, who I'd actually taught, which was nice. As a celebration I took the big camera and the fancy lens and tried to get a photograph of everyone at once. The light could have been better, but the results do seem to be recognisable. Although I can't find myself in the pictures anywhere....

Front of house graduands

Stage graduands

Marshal's eye view of the Vice Chancellors speech

After the ceremony

The weather was a bit dull and blustery, but a good time was had by all.

There are a few more pictures on my Flickr Account. Click on any of the above images to go there.

Degrees of Success

I was Graduands Marshal at three degree ceremonies today. Wore the hat, did the intro and got everyone down and into the right place. Great fun, if hard work. All the audiences were terrific and everyone played their part just right, even the nervous graduands who were all splendid. Well done to you all. I'm doing my final intro tomorrow for our Computer Science students, which will be quite an occasion. I might even try out a new joke...

We only had one Honorary Graduate, but he was great. Sir Michael Alan Willcocks, KCB accepted his degree with an excellent and self deprecating speech. Most speakers at degree ceremonies try to pass on some wisdom to the audience, and Sir Michael was no exception. He said something which I think is actually excellent advice. He said that if you have a problem, rather than worrying about it you should try to do something about it. If you can't do anything about it, it is not a problem - it is a fact.

Evil Exam Invigilation

This morning found me performing an unexpected Exam invigilation in the Sports Centre. I was down as reserve invigilator and when someone didn't turn up I had greatness thrust upon me. I wasn't that keen to be honest, until I saw the content of the paper I was invigilating, which had the wonderful title of "Evil". Thinking I might be good at evil, since I practice a lot at home apparently, I had a look at the questions. They were very thought provoking and I quite fancied having a go at them. The last one was "Is evil art?". Profound stuff.

Then tonight it was down to the pub for the first Preston Foster Appreciation Society meeting in a long while. A great time was had which, to be honest, was not very profound. For some reason I found the following very funny.

"I was feeling a little under the weather last week, so I went to the doctor to find out what it might be. He told me it was raining."

Perhaps you had to be there.

News at Ten

ITV have brought back News at Ten, which used to be an institution in our house when I was younger. It was usually the cue for my sister and I to have an argument about whose turn it was to make the supper.

I miss those days.

Anyway, pop quiz question with no prize.

"What links News at Ten with Dr. Who?"

Update on 2008-01-17 19:44 by Rob

Sigh. Nobody knows anything these days (or perhaps they are too shy to post, or admit they know).

The link is that the theme music for both programmes was written by the same person, Ron Grainer,

Rob and Jon in Games TM

One of our students (thanks Tom) sent me an email about an article in the issue 65 of Games TM, a gaming magazine. Some time ago Jon Purdy and I had a phone call from one of their writers and it seems our remarks have now made their way into print. They are on page 24, in the middle of a very good article called "Breaking In", about how to get into the games programming business. I'd completely forgotten about the interview, but it is very nice to see myself quoted like this.

The whole magazine is a good read actually. They have always had a really good retro section and I've always found their game reviews to be pretty much spot on.

Back at Work

Back to work today. It was as if the last couple of weeks had never happened.  I'm now sitting in my office, with a pile of reports to go through and list of things to sort out which is as long as my arm (and I've got quite long arms).

Good thing I like my job.

Eating Tips from Rob

Some folk swear by French cooking. Others prefer Italian. Then there are those who expound the virtues of "Fusion", which is a mix of everything. As for me, my favourite is "Free Cuisine", where somebody else pays.

Dad took us all out for a meal today, and it was very nice and much appreciated. We went here and the food was great.

..just think how much I've saved

Went shopping for clothes today. Went very well, got a couple of jackets and some jeans It might not seem much to you, but I'm only able to buy clothes a couple of times a year and this was one of them. I'm not telling you how much I spent, but I saved loads...

The weather was kind of interesting and wintry. Asked number one son to poke the camera out of the car window during the journey.

So he did.

The first shot he took

True Grit

Not quite an oil painting, but it could be..

As could this...

Swiss Army Explosive

The motorway just down the road from us might have to be closed soon because someone out with a metal detector discovered a large piece of unexploded second world war hardware buried in a field. The local news said that it was a "100 pound general purpose bomb". I'm wondering if this means that you could also use it as a can opener and corkscrew etc.

A Foolish Consistency....

Number one son is very confused about the way that I insist on producing a blog post every day. Even though sometimes there are intervals when nothing appears and the posts are obviously made retrospectively. Well, I don't care about any of this. Obviously.

So, that's Sunday sorted...

Party and Fan Man

Went to a party today. We had our "office do" at Fudge in Hull. Very nice it was too. Great food, great company, great times.

And no photographs. (I forgot).

Then it was back to Paul's, where he strapped a propeller on his back and tried not to fly around his garden. No. Really. Paul is a recent convert to paragliding, having just helped to create the world's first paraglider simulator. He wanted to show us his new rig and was offering drinks and sweeties, so we were all round there like a shot. So it was that, drinks in hand, we watched as he fired up his machine and tried to use it to blow cast iron garden furniture around. Now this I did get a picture of.

Fan man

When Paul bought his house, it came with a collection of plates. Including this one.

I'm not sure if it is dishwasher safe, but it does have a unique style.

After the party we wandered back to the office for some gaming. I had to zoom off early and do some other bits and bobs, but I did manage to win at Wii tennis (although Warren beat me at Guitar Hero).

Deadly Toasters

Never had much luck with toasters. The old one repeatedly tried to kill me, and the new one doesn't work at all. Ages ago we bought a shiny toaster, mainly because the picture on the box had a funny misprint. It worked fine, but it wouldn't give us the toast back. Kind of a pop-down design. It was practically begging me to insert a pointy, preferably metal, instrument into its innards to try and prise the hot bread out of its steely grip. Instead I used to turn it upside down and shake it, which spread crumbs around the kitchen and nearly set fire to the base, what with heat rising the way it does.

So on Saturday we bought a new set of toaster and kettle. The toaster has three buttons  and lights, a big dial and comes with a "User Manual". But if doesn't work. Of course by the time we got round to testing it we'd thrown away all the boxes and packaging, so I'm going to have to go down to Tesco armed only with a receipt and an aggrieved manner. No fair. I like toast.

What Can't You Fix with Cable Ties?

Some aspects of life seem to have an irresistible attraction to me. Take car window winders for example. I seem to be acquiring considerable familiarity with the darned things, mainly because the cars that I own have windows that go down. But not up.

Thus it was with the Scenic, and now car of number one wife has the same problem. My first solution,a length of duct tape over the gap was not entirely successful, and definitely not elegant, so today it was out with the big spanners and into the fray.

Last time I tried to take the door of the car to pieces it won. I was so concerned about damaging the thing that I gave up and got out the sticky tape. But this time it was different. I had no such qualms. Truly I was a man beyond fear. Although I didn't want to break any fingernails.

There is something a bit embarrassing about forcing something off with a hammer and chisel and then finding that there is a perfectly simple, and really neat, trick to removal. But there you are. I won.

Anyhoo, once I had the thing to bits the problem was obvious. The car maker had sent a plastic boy to do a man's job. The most important component, the link between slide and window, was a bit of bent, and now broken, plastic slide. Ho hum. Time for a really subtle and cunning invisible mend. As I went to get a bit of wood to prop the window up I mentioned the problem to Dave next door.

"I'll just be a minute" he said.

He came back with some jumbo cable ties, linked slide and window and presto. Fixed. What a guy.

Audience Boosting

Apparently, according to research posted on the Internet (so it must be true),  a blog post which expresses deeply held personal beliefs and opinions actually gets more comments and interest than one which just conveys information.

I've been looking through my last posts and decided that they don't actually do either. So, with all this in mind here goes:

"I don't like broccoli very much"

A Day of Pong

Just had a great day.

Marking.

I've been working my way around the lab looking at programs that have been written for our first year C# course. All the students have to present their programs and I've seen some great work. I love it when people come up with ideas I wouldn't have thought of and then get them to work. The name of the game, quite literally, was to write a Pong implementation to run in the console window of the PC. Next semester, if they want, students can get the code onto a real console, when we convert the game to XNA for the Xbox.

Everyone I saw had a fully working version, some with sound, computer players, variable speed, the works. And many of the people that I saw only started programming in September. Great stuff.

I'm in the lab tomorrow too. Lucky me.