Nine Thoughts of a Van Driver

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Weapon of choice.

For the next couple of days I’m leading a nomadic existence. Just me and a Bedford Luton van, hurting down the country, filling the van with stuff and then driving it all somewhere else. I’ve done this quite a bit in the past, helping families and friends move. and I quite like doing it really. There’s something about driving a great big van that is rather nice. You learn things:

  1. People are more inclined to get out of your way if you are driving a big, rented vehicle with out of town number plates towards them at speed.
  2. British roads are very lumpy. The number of bangs and crashes that we experienced on the M1 was quite surprising. The van suspension did the best it could, but we did have some teeth jarring moments.
  3. You can plug your smartphone into the audio system of a Transit van, but the socket is right at the bottom of a glove compartment, and looks exactly like a bolt which is fitted at the bottom of another, much easier to get to, cubby hole.
  4. Van sound systems are surprisingly robust and can go very loud indeed.
  5. Smashmouth Astro Lounge is absolutely great driving music.
  6. So is Pet Shop Boys Actually, although the first track has driving sound effects that can mask the siren of a police car coming up right behind you. Which can be scary.
  7. After a while you stop missing the rear view mirror and just get good at using the wing mirrors. And looking for shadows of cars that might be behind you.
  8. Nothing (speeding up, slowing down, going round corners etc) happens suddenly in a fully loaded van.
  9. The sound of the sack barrow crashing about in the back of an empty van when you stop at traffic lights is very scary, until you figure out what it is.

Office Tidying

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Just had a visit from a Fire Safety person (#nogoodwillcomeofthis)

He didn’t really have to say much. Just look around my office at the collection of daisy chained mains cables, piles of paper and other inflammable detritus lying around the place. So, time for a tidy up methinks. My bin is now full and I can see part of the surface of my desk. And two mains extensions have gone back to the systems team. I also found this rather nice button while I was clearing up. Ongoing.

Humber Bridge Toll System Shutdown

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The minic system in the bridge control room

Little known fact. Since 1998, if you have driven over the Humber Bridge and paid a toll then you have been interacting with some software that I wrote. Ian Bell and myself produced the instation and minic software that has been keeping track of bridge crossings and toll takings. We worked with Siemens Road Traffic Controls who put the hardware into the booths, our code kept track of mis-registrations and printed out the totals tables. It’s been working ever since, with a mid term upgrade and a little problem when it lasted longer than it was supposed to.

And today, just after 5 o’clock in the afternoon, I turned it off forever.

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The final moments

The system is being replaced by an altogether more up to date one, which allows for toll payment without stopping, special rf badges and all kinds of new fangled things.

It seems like less and less of my software is being used in the world. For a magical time a few years ago programs I had written were putting datestamps on Budweiser beer and Cadbury’s Roses, passing part programs into machines that cut wing-spars for aircraft, measuring winch lengths on trawlers and flushing toilets in the Reckit and Coleman test labs in Hull. Happy days.

Writing with Colour at the Guardian Masterclass

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Anyone can write, just like anyone can cook. As soon as you move from restaurants and ready meals to getting ingredients and mixing them in pans you can start thinking about getting a white uniform and people shouting “Yes chef!” to you across steam filled kitchens. Moving beyond shopping lists and one line Facebook updates means that you can start pondering putting “writer” on your business card and extracting killer quotes from unresponsive interviewees. Or then again, perhaps not, because of course the really important thing is what everyone else calls you.

If you are the only person that thinks you are the next Jamie Oliver then you might have a hard time getting folks to eat your food.  And while the internet does provide a potential audience of billions, getting them all to come and read your web site will take more than just your idea of deathless prose. This means that you have to do the hard stuff, like practice and learning how to get better.

I’ve never dared call myself a writer; I’m more someone who throws a bunch of words at a blog post every day to see which ones stick. But today I went along to a Guardian Master class called “Writing with Colour” to find out a bit more about this writing business. There was actually another reason for going as well, the sessions were being given by writers who I’d long admired from afar, and I liked the idea of admiring them from a bit closer up.

There were about 80 or so of us on the course, which took place in the actual Guardian newspaper building in London. The sessions were all great. If you have a low opinion of journalists and editors then you should go along, just to find out how thoughtful and considered these folks are about what they do.  I’m pretty sure that not all writers are like this, but these were folks who I’d be happy to listen to all day, which is just as well, because that is what we did.

A few of my thoughts from the sessions:

Read what you have written. Out loud. All the writers took evident pleasure in reading what they had put on the page. This is as confidence thing I reckon and darned good advice. Sometimes you might like what you hear. If you don’t like it, go back and change it until you do.

Be loyal to your work. This can mean a bit of internal wrangling as you seek permission to print that quote from a reluctant interviewee. It might mean you can’t be a totally nice person all the time. And it might mean dropping that wonderful sequence because it doesn’t add anything to the piece.

Always deliver what you were asked for. Someone asked Lucy Mangan what she did if her four o’clock deadline came along and she hadn’t thought of anything to write about.  Her reply was brilliant. That. Does. Not. Happen.  If you are a proper writer and you are asked to write something that’s what you do. You can wrestle with your inner demons about the content (and you should) after you have pressed the send button, but the important thing is if you are asked for 550 words you should deliver 550, along with a convincing pitch for why you should be allowed another 200 or so.

Always edit, and always cut. The editor is the person who makes things better and tighter, sometimes by cutting out what the writer thought of as the best bits. If we end up losing the traditions of print journalism I reckon the editor is the person we will miss the most. This probably means that writers will have to spend more time editing their own work. So try to do this.

Work at what you write. I was very pleased to find that nobody said that they found writing easy. Everyone said they had to work at it. Interviews take preparation and persistence in writing everything down. Features take research and rewriting.  And the work doesn’t stop when the piece is finished, everyone valued re-visiting items and look at why they wrote what they wrote.

Seek out the colour. Work to find that killer fact, or interesting angle, which will give you a hook to hang your words on or will be quoted in the pub by your readers. If you are very lucky the colour will find you, but mostly you find it in the research you did, or the huge pile of notes that you made.

Last week I sent a jaunty tweet to the organisers saying how I was bringing along some crayons, as the subject was “Writing with colour”. I can imagine the sinking feeling in the stomach of the recipient, along the lines of “We’ve got a right one here….” Sorry about that.

Anyhoo, I found the whole affair really stimulating, and if you want to get tips about improving your writing style, and maybe meet a few heroes, then it is well worth the price of admission. And the lunch was good too.

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Satnav Humour

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Our car SatNav has a mode where it will give directions over another audio signal, automatically turning down the music/radio or whatever when it wants to tell you want to do. Today we were using it while listening to some comedy on the radio, which worked really well. It was great to hear the machine say “At the roundabout, take the first exit” and then get a huge laugh and a round of applause from the audience.

DecalGirl: A Model of an Internet Business

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This is one of my designs for my Surface RT. I just like the colours.

While I was at the Imagine Cup I was admiring the rather nice skin that Ben Riga had on his Surface device. Turns out that it is supplied by Decalgirl. Ben showed me the web site and within no time I was wasting hours trying to find the perfect skins for my devices. Then I found out that you can upload your own artwork and I then lost even more of my life finding suitable pictures and uploading them to their skin design pages. Thanks Ben.

Anyhoo, the skins arrive in a couple of weeks and I’m looking forward to seeing how they have turned out. But for me the reason for mentioning the company is that I reckon that they are just about the perfect web trading operation. Their site has a snazzy design and is quick to use. Within seconds of arriving on the home page for the first time I’m offered the chance to sign up to get a discount on my first order. Then, when I don’t buy anything for a while I get a follow up email with an even better discount. When I left my partially completed order on the system for a few days I got an email reminding me my order is still out there and giving me a chance to finalize it. Then I get regular emails detailing the progress of the order and I’m sure that I’ll get more over time as new designs appear. And all done in a way that leaves me thinking that I’m not being badgered to buy stuff, but helped along with my purchases. Very, very well done.

If you are involved in ecommerce and want to see it done well (and by the by find some awesome skins for your various devices) then they are well worth a look.

Going to Hacked

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Next weekend we are off to Hacked. I’ve managed to get hold of a couple of tickets so myself and number one son will be taking our places with lots of other developers who want to make something silly/awesome/fun. I’ll be taking my lovely Lumia 920 along and targeting the Windows Phone platform, along with a bunch of gadgets and other things that we can use if mood takes us.

I’m really looking forward to this. The plan is to try and last through Saturday night. But I’ve booked a room in a nearby hotel just in case…..

Navigating Neatly with Nokia

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This is one thing I found very useful while I was in St. Petersburg. The clever bit started when I downloaded all the maps for this part of the world before I left the UK. This meant that I had full navigation support without needing any form of networking connection. The map application lets me pin locations and also routes onto the start screen. The left hand screenshot shows the hotel pinned to the upper left and a route to the Errata gallery on the right. At any point in my travels I just had to hit that shortcut and I’d get a route to my destination. On the right you can see the route, along with my present position. If it looks like I;m going the long way round it’s because I’m on a bus. The whole thing worked splendidly and got me where I wanted to be.

Cottingham Day in Good Weather

Today was that rarest of coincidences. We were in the country, the weather was great, and it was “Cottingham Day” in the village. They had all kinds of stuff going on, including some vintage cars that were parked all around the village. This is a close up of one of them. I so wanted a car like this when I was a bit younger. A “non-price” to anyone who tells me what kind of car it is, and for bonus kudos, the car it was based on.

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I took a whole bunch of other pictures which I’m sure will appear on these pages over time. It was a great day

Moving House

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Well, that could have gone a lot better.

My plan was to move my blog over from Squarespace 5 to Squarespace 6. I liked the new styles, I’d found a new layout I liked and all seemed OK. I’d checked that my content would move with the blog. I’ve even built the new site. You can see it here if you are interested. So I flipped the switch on my name server to point to the new blog.

And the fun started. Bits of the layout weren’t right. My content didn’t seem to be where it should be. And I started to miss the features in Squarespace 5.

So I’ve flipped the switch back again, and here we are. Back where we started. I’m going to have another go later, once I’ve done some proper testing. In the meantime, sorry about any interruptions to the service. I’m going to make very sure that everything is in the right place before I flick that switch again.

Open Day and Saying Cheese

To be honest the day didn’t get off to the best of starts. I was crammed into a photo booth in Cottingham Post Office taking a picture of myself for a Russian Visa. Turns out that photo booths, like lots of other things in my life, weren’t really designed for someone of my stature. So I was trying desperately to get all of my head into the right part of the picture, repeatedly re-taking the picture and failing to get all of my apparently enormous face into the frame.

After numerous retries the system gave up on me and printed the tenth or so attempt. Fortunately it looks OK, and so my passport, along with lots of accompanying documentation, is now on the way to London and visafication.

The reason I’m after a visa is that I’m helping with the judging of the Imagine Cup World Finals the week after next. They’ve got some amazing judges, including the chap who invented Tetris,  and they’ve got Matt Smith, of Dr. Who fame, hosting the awards presentation.

I’m really looking forward to going along and taking part. Visa permitting. With a bit of luck the visa should be sorted on Monday and I can start choosing which gadgets to take…

Once I’d posted my visa application I shot straight into the university for an Open Day.

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I did two talks, this is the first audience.

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This is outside the library, we had our American Football Team, along with the rowers to show the kinds of things we get up to. 

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This is the second sitting for my Open Day talk. Another great audience.

During the talks I mentioned the “Yellow Book” that we use to teach C#. You can download a PDF of the book from here. There are also some other free documents there too. All in all a great day, hope that everyone who made the trip found it worth their while.

Paying for Things can be Cool

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One thing abut the internets that I really don’t like is the culture of “everything is free”. There is an expectation that if you want something, be it web hosting, email or a way of sharing with your friends a picture what you had for dinner then it seems like you can you can get it all for nothing.

There are a few things about this that I don’t like. Firstly, folks need to realise that lots of services are built on the back of this free stuff that may ultimately come back to haunt you. Secondly, companies that acquire market share by giving stuff away may not be around for the long haul. Finally, and this is the kicker for me, if something goes wrong you are completely stuck, as nobody has a financial motivation to make you happy.

I pay a small sum each month to Squarespace who in return host this wonderful blog. On Sunday I had what I thought was a problem, so I emailed support. They responded within the hour and as a result I found that it was actually something I was doing, not their fault. They’ve just sent me a feedback form I can use to rate the quality of their service. Great stuff. And almost certainly not what would have happened if their service was free.

Facebook Picture Fun and Games

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While I was away last week I was stupid enough to try and log in to Facebook from my phone to respond to a message. Facebook saw that I had left Hull for a little while and went into a high security mode, locking my account. Thanks for that.

To recover things I had to go through and identify pictures of folks that I know, which is always a problem for me as I’ve got a terrible memory for faces. Not that it would have made much difference in the picture above.

Heading Home

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Today we had to head home, which meant experiencing “The Miracle of Flight”. For me this means spending a few hours crammed behind a bloke who insisted on reclining his seat, even though I had mentioned to him hat my legs don’t have a joint in them that would make this possible. As we got on the plane one of the more alert stewardesses made the observation that “This plane wasn’t built for someone as tall as you”. Indeed. But then complaining about the seating arrangements when you are flying back from somewhere as nice as New Orleans seems a bit churlish.

A local chap reckons that the best times to visit the city are spring and autumn, when the heat is a bit less intense. That may be true. But I’d be happy to go back there next week if I got the chance. Great place.

My First Tomato Festival

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I don’t know much about tomatoes. Mostly red, different sizes, used in bolognaise and on pizza, some discussion over whether or not they are a fruit. Oh, and in New Orleans they have a festival for them. It was a bit warm, but you could always cool down with a Bloody Mary drink. We took a wander through the French Market and I took a whole bunch of photographs.

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Including this one. We have to head home tomorrow, which is rather sad as I’m just about getting the hang of “The Big Easy”.