Sheepish Humour

Did you hear about the lame lamb with a gamboling problem?

Monday Quiz

This might not happen on any other Monday. But then again....

Old advert : "Only a fool breaks the two second rule"

But what is it?

Chance Question

If a person thinks something is unlikely they'll say "Fat chance". Or "Slim chance". Why?

Deadly Humour

I thought of this one as I was driving to the "MVP Pie and Pint" event yesterday evening in York (thanks Lorna and Akim for a great night by the way). In the end I decided not to tell it. See if you can work out why...

"My new computer crashed and all you did was send me a plastic raincoat for my rabbit!"

"Ah yes, that is because it comes with our new bunny mac guarantee"

New Computer Game Idea

I've just had an idea for a new video game. In it players take control of some little computer memory chips. They have to guide them through life, make sure they are properly plugged in, and manage their address and data bus connections as the chips  grow old and learn new things. I'm going to call it "The Simms".

Complicated Problems

If a plane carrying a load of black boxes crashed, how on earth would they find out what had happened?

Thoughts You'd Rather Not Have

I'm going to start building models of birds out of chocolates. The first thing I'm going to make is a Malteser falcon.

If Stelios opened a safari park would it be called "Easy Tiger"?

Thank you, and good night.

Why do I find this funny?

Today I got my new Lego mail order catalogue though the post.  (You think this is strange for some reason? Shame on you.) Anyhoo, I found the description for set 7880 "Duplo Big Pirate Ship" to be really funny. At the end it says "Includes four pirates and a monkey." For some reason that I can't explain I just find this amusing.

Word Cartoons

I wish I could draw. I'd draw a picture of someone holding a glass of wine which has a harpoon stuck through it. The caption would be "You know, I think my drink has been spiked".

The Joys of Living with Rob

Me: Can I call you lunchtime?
Number one wife: OK
Me: See you later, lunchtime.

Oh how I laughed.

Profound Thought 0001 of 0001

If God played football would they show the games on "Match of the Deity"?

Specially for Graphics Programmers

I always wanted to make a T shirt with "Fog is nature's way of keeping the frame rate up" written on it.

An Apology

Sorry about this folks. No idea what made me think of it:

"We might have room for you on our hyperventilation course Mr. Miles. But I wouldn't hold your breath..."

Old Joke

Just found this joke in my old blog. So good that I want to share it with you all again:

Q: What does a magician say when he makes a corpse appear out of nowhere?

A: Abracadaver

Profound Question no 1 of 1000

If you copied someone else's outbreak of the Black Death would you get done for plagueurism?

Film Pitch

I've had this idea for a film about a Country and Western singer who starts out by singing on kitchen floors.

I'm going to call it "Walk the Lino".