Very Silly Rob

The Channel 9 interview with me is now here. I'd say "enjoy", but, well, you know.......

Major Wit

Geoff: "Went to see Iron Man last Monday"
Rob: "Can he do shirts?"

I actually just said this...

"Have we missed 'The Day After Tomorrow'? I thought it was yesterday...."

I'm so proud of myself.

Very sorry about this....

I had lots of things to do today. At one point I thought that I'd put some things in a beaker full of water and see how much liquid came out over the top.

But then I decided that this would just be a displacement activity.

Old Funny Stuff

I wrote this ages ago, and I still like it:

"The dish was concerned about the way that her father kept introducing her to spoons."

Words fail me

"Waiter, why have you served me a dictionary with my meal?"

"Well sir, you did ask for the full English breakfast".

Not now, James

Just finished watching a Bond movie, and the question arises, "Is the world ever saved by ugly people?"

New Year Resolution

I think I've used this before, but I don't care....

Today is apparently the best day to buy a new monitor. Then you can make a New Years Resolution of 1680x1050.

Sound of running feet....

I was thinking of changing my name to "Rob Abacus".

Then people really could count on me.

My Apologies

"I've just started up my computer, and it has challenged me to pistols at dawn"

"Oh, you must have set it to duel boot"

Insomniac Dreams

I keep having this dream where I'm lying awake, trying to get to sleep.

Or at least, I think am.

Favourite Baking Joke

I'm making some musical bread but it is not going very well. I've only got the do so fa.

Sunday Question

If you see a printer out of the corner of your eye, is that what they call "peripheral vision"?

Enter Post Title Here

I'm thinking of getting some paving stones made out of drums.

Then people really would beat a path to my door.

Product Idea

I'm going to create a new garment. It will be a waterproof jacket with a search engine on the back. I'm going to call it a Cagougle.

Another profound question

Do people who write smoke signals work under a "nom de plume"?

Profound Question

Do inoffensive shoes have the sole of tact?

Christmas Cake Joke

"Is that cake paid for? Or is it stollen?"

Run for the hills

I was thinking about writing a film in which Satan makes himself an outfit from the pages of a russian newspaper. I would call it, altogether now,  "The Devil Wears Pravda".

Don't Read This

If I shout "120 dots per inch" on January the first, does this count as a New Years Resolution?

(I did warn you)