Bitcoin boilers

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Bitcoin mining, where powerful computers solve mathematical puzzles to generate money that is almost probably real, is consuming an increasing amount of power around the world. As all the power that goes into the computer comes out as heat, it seems to me that it would be sensible to make good use of this power.

Why not make “bitcoin boilers” that use heat from the computers to do something useful? That way you could get paid for having a hot shower. I’m not sure about all the detail - I’m strictly an ideas man here - but I think it is worth a try.

Version control and the end of time

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boom.png

The Timelords met, as Timelords do, from time to time for a coffee. And when they met they liked to talk about the old times and universes that have come and gone. “Ah, the earth universe” said one. “Indeed” said another. “I thought it had promise” said a third.

“The humans had discovered software and version control, and all was going reasonably well. And then one human decided to try to find out what happens if you put the name of the gitignore file into the gitignore file. And then their reality collapsed on itself. ”

The first timelord stared into his coffee cup. “If only they had known the true power of Git” he said glumly.

Thermos flasks are the future

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If I was into the stock market (which I am not) I reckon at the moment the smart money is going into thermos flasks.

Think about it. Soon folks are going be allowed to go out a bit more. And when they do they will find that no cafes are open So, instead they will have to take their own food and drink when they go out. And that means that they will want to keep their drinks nice and hot. So they will all rush out (or rush in) and buy a new thermos flask.

You heard it here first. Oh, and it reminds me of my favourite thermos flask joke:

Stooge 1: “What’s that"?”
Stooge 2: “It’s my new thermos flask”
Stooge 1: “What does it do?”
Stooge 2: “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold”
Stooge 1: “Awesome. What have you got in it?”
Stooge 2: “A cup of coffee and a choc ice”

Sorry about this

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I was gardening today. As you do. Got to thinking about the mad scientist who tried to clone himself. He used a new technique, where you start at the top of the body and work your way down. Everything was going fine until he'd just finished the neck, but when he tried to do the shoulders it all went wrong, with arms and legs in all the wrong places. Ugh. He turned to his assistant and said.....wait for it....

"I knew I should have quit when I was a head".

Caution Horses

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So, we're driving back down the motorway on Sunday and we pass a huge van with the above message on the back. 

For a moment I had this vision of a the van containing a pair of specially trained equines who turn up when you do something stupid and say things like "Just this once, we'll let you off. But if you'd better not do it again". 

After some discussion we decided that it could also be an instruction to pull into the next field and tell the occupants not to eat grass like that, or whatever.