Why do I find this funny?
/Today I got my new Lego mail order catalogue though the post. (You think this is strange for some reason? Shame on you.) Anyhoo, I found the description for set 7880 "Duplo Big Pirate Ship" to be really funny. At the end it says "Includes four pirates and a monkey." For some reason that I can't explain I just find this amusing.
Hot Stuff for ACE week
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What a great audience looks like.
I did another talk to a bunch of students from local schools today. The place was packed and it was a bit warm, but the whole thing went really well and the audience were great. For the first time I put Digby (my robot dog) on a black cloth. He loved it, he could find the ball and then fail to kick it really well.
Non-sensible Sunday
/
I've hidden a stormtrooper in this picture somewhere. Can you use your powers of observation to find him?
On Sunday sensible people stay in bed for a while, potter about, read the paper and generally relax in preparation for the coming week. They do not spend the day rising at 4:30 am, driving 220 miles to London, walking round a film and comic conference and then driving back again. Horay for sensible people. Meant the place was not so busy, and we got a chance to look around. And see a talk from two of the stars of Serenity, a good film that you really should have seen by now. I've put a whole bunch of pictures up on Flickr.
Open Day
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Some of the audience, apologies to those who arrived after I took the picture...
We had an open day today. In spite (or perhaps because of) the football match we still had a good turnout. Those that came along seemed to have a good time, and they went away with wherewouldyouthink T shirts and a smile. Even though I told some of my jokes.....
Cool Photos
/You find some amazing things on the internet. How about pictures taken with a lens made of ice?
Insight Insight
/Did a talk at an Insight event today. I was telling all about mobile development to a bunch of academics. Great bunch of folks who seemed to enjoy the talk. I never got around to telling the orange for a head joke, but you can Google it if you like. If you were at the talk, I promised a bunch of links and downloads. You can find them in the presentations part of the site here. I got to stay in a proper english hotel room for a change.
For your information, hotel owners of the world, this is what we english expect to see in our rooms when we arrive. Not a minibar loaded with expensive items or a coffee filter thing which only makes one cup of luke warm drink. This is how you do it. And don't forget the biscuits.
Saabarama
/Drove down to Kidderminster today in a rented car. I like rented cars. They are always shiny and new and somebody else's problem if they go wrong. Today's car was a shiny Saab. It had loads of buttons, including one labeled ESP which I never dared press. It had separate air conditioning settings for the driver and passenger sides . Number one sun set his to minimum and I maxed mine out in an attempt to create a weather front down the middle of the car as we drove in to work. It also had a feature which reminded me of one of my favourite jokes.
Driver : "I pressed this button and the car instantly drove straight into the sea!"
Mechanic : "That was the cruise control sir".
Anhyoo. Nice car.
CSI Wonderfullness
/Best line in CSI tonight:
"You'll have to excuse me. I need to go calibrate a hot tub."
Jokewatching
/I think I'm turming into the comedy equivalent of those birdwatching people who spend all day in a field with a pair of binoculors looking for the great crested whatnot. These folks think nothing of spending a whole day standing in the rain wating to get a glimpse of some rare species or other. They must leave home each day with hope burning in their heart that they will actually catch sight of their goal.
This is now the way that I watch comedy programmes. Last night I sat through a whole episode of "My Family". It must have been in the hope that at some point something funny was going to happen. Of course, it didn't. The audience seemed to think that it was hilarious. The same "joke" was repeated numerous times and they laughed obediently each time. I'm not sure how the BBC management do this:
Scene : TV Studio before recording an episode
Stage hand One : "We've recording a comedy show next"
Stage hand Two: "OK, I'll get a fresh cannister of laughing gas and plug it into the air conditioning"
Stage hand One: "Wait, it's 'My Family', better make that two cannisters"
I can imagine the audience on the way home, having hysterics at their bus tickets and the markings on the road.
Mobile Developer Webcasts From Rob
/In a week or so I'm giving my first ever webcast. It is a kind of "remote presentation" where I run through some slides and demonstrate some programming. The audience can chip in and ask questions, and the whole thing is also recorded for posterity so that you can refer to it later. You can connect to it from anywhere in the world and take part via the internet.
This will be number one of a series of 4, all about mobile game development. If you have ever had an urge to develop a game (on mobile or otherwise) then you might find it interesting. I'm also going to tell my favourite joke in all the world exactly 23 minutes into the talk, so it is worth tuning in just for that.....
I'm setting up a resource centre on these hallowed pages to underpin the webcasts . I'll be adding stuff as soon as I've finished each talk. Find out more here.
The End of the World?
/I keep seeing adverts for things which contain "good bacteria". Which is apparently better for you than "bad bacteria". How did we get to this?
Meeting at Bacteria HQ:
Bacteria King : "We're in trouble. They keep inventing new ways to kill us. That new Domestos could be the end. Any ideas?"
Bacteria Scientist : "But sire, I have a plan"
Bacteria King : "Do tell.."
Bacteria Scientist : "We train up some of our strongest strains for a top secret operation. We teach them the arts of subterfuge, send them undercover and get them to convince the human scum that they are friendly. Once they are safely established in their yoghurts and health drinks..."
Bacteria King : "..we strike them down. "
(all join in evil laughter)
Remember, you read it here first.
Word Cartoons
/I wish I could draw. I'd draw a picture of someone holding a glass of wine which has a harpoon stuck through it. The caption would be "You know, I think my drink has been spiked".
Cool Books
/The books that I bought were all published by Taschen. They do some really nice ones on design and advertising. The ones that I bought were really good value, at only 7 pounds each. I got two on advertising (one from the fifiies and the other from the sixties). I would have got the seventies one too if that had been in the shop.
The third was about design. I just love reading this stuff. Some of the pictures are superb:
From the days when a fridge was an impressive device.
I wonder why he has stuck a cigarette in her shoulder? But then again, she seems happy enough about it.
Why don't cars look like this any more?
If you like a good, thought provoking, read you should get these books. Well worth it.
The Joys of Living with Rob
/Me: Can I call you lunchtime?
Number one wife: OK
Me: See you later, lunchtime.
Oh how I laughed.
Interesting Times
/I seem to be living in interesting times. Today I bought a wonderful book (actually I got three - I'll tell you all about them tomorrow).
And I'm setting up some Webcasts which you really must listen to. Details to follow.
And you only have around 18 hours to buy my phone....
Most Valuable Project
/We went to Doncaster today to take a look at the work of the students there. We validate their Integrated Technology degree, which means that every year we get to go and see what they have been up to.
This year one of their students created a project which ended up saving their employer 300,000 pounds. He got good grades.
Profound Thought 0001 of 0001
/If God played football would they show the games on "Match of the Deity"?
Football Worth Watching
/Finally, some football that you don't mind seeing on the telly. Where heroes are heroes, villains are villains and nobody's meta-tarsal gets broken. For father's day number one daughter got me a copy of Shaolin Soccer a completely bonkers film that shows what happens when the martial arts people take up football.
So I shot home to watch it. And it is very silly. Very, very funny. And silly. And the odd thing is that, even in the midst of the daftness, they end up creating some characters that you genuinely care about. The action shots are in the best Matrix mould. Only better.
I would strongly advise you to get to see it if you haven't already. At the very least you should check out the film website. My favourite is the "Iron Shirt" move.
I'm going to watch the film again. Very loudly, during the World Cup Final.
Number one son got me season one of "The 4400", which looks very interesting. More antidotes to football.





