Shiny Doncaster

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Went to Doncaster today for a presentation. The university has a relationship with Doncaster College, where we accredit two of their degree courses. The students are based and taught at Doncaster but we award the degree.

Anyhoo, I went down to say hello to the Business Computing crew and give a presentation about final year projects. They are a nice bunch and the talk seemed to go OK, although I may have spoiled the atmosphere a little by telling the undertaker joke right at the end.

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The brand new Doncaster campus is very shiny - and this is just the back of the college

Jane Eyre vs Aeon Flux

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Tonight in the Miles household, for your viewing pleasure:

  • Downstairs number one wife was watching improving cultural content based on literary classic : Jane Eyre
  • Upstairs I was watching brain rotting science fiction tosh : Aeon Flux

I've seen Jane Eyre a few times. Once you have worked out that her surname is actually pronounced "Air" and reached the four magic words "Reader, I married him" (hope this doesn't give to much away folks) you have taken pretty much everything away from the story that you need.

Although, having said that, and sat through Aeon Flux (which also has its pronunciation problems) I have noticed some similarities between the two:

Male Lead : both of them have a male protagonist who may/may not be a baddie (you guess). Both males have equally dodgy hairstyles and stupid names. Rochester sounds like something from a sixties heist movie ("Tonight we steal the Rochester Diamonds...") and don't get me started about having an evil overload with the first name Trevor. Both of them looked like they were thinking of getting sideburns too.

Plot : Actually there isn't that much in common here. However, they do both have big explosions now and then. And both of the male leads have crazy people trying to kill them.

Female Lead : OK, so Jane Eyre doesn't have skin tight leather clothing and access to futuristic weaponry. But she does wear those dresses that reach all the way to the floor and let her move about like a Dalek with no obvious means of propulsion. I just hope that she can climb stairs. Of course Aeon Flux doesn't actually climb stairs at all, she would use a double somersault flip with a half twist up the banister rail in case the stairs vanished when she was half way up them.

Happy Ending : (plot spoiler alert - though if you read the bold bit it is probably too late) Both have a happy ending. Despite being shot a great deal (but missed an improbably huge number of times) Aeon ends up in a happy clinch with her man. In Jane Eyre something equally unlikely happens, when her new husband mysteriously regains his sight after having married her.

So there you are. Stay tuned for more cultural insights. Once I've finished watching the Simpsons.

Evil Jag Drivers

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Boy did it rain this afternoon. Heavy stuff. The little dimple in the road near our house filled up with water to make a mini-ford. There was a Fiesta parked in it. A Ford in a ford. How poetic. Not that that poetry was really on my mind as I trudged up the road to the chip shop to fetch Friday tea.

As I was walking along the pavement, trying to avoid the puddles that actually went over my shoes, I noticed a big Jaguar car approaching. The driver wasn't slowing down for the dimple in the road, in fact he was speeding up. Just as he reached me the awful truth dawned. He was heading for a pool of water in the gutter that I was just passing. He went past at speed and with the evident intention of soaking me to the skin.

Which he nearly succeeded in doing. Fortunately, thanks to some fancy footwork on my part, he only managed to drench my trousers. The only good thing that came out of this was that he then drove at speed into our little ford, sending a jet into the air reminiscent of the water splash at Disney world. Unfortunately his car kept going, but I hope it was a nasty shock for him.

Moosaic Takes Shape

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One of "Robert's Rules" is:

Any software development takes longer than you think, even if you allow for this.

Of course, having a day job as well has kind of hampered development...

So I've not finished the Moosaic program just yet. But it is looking quite tidy:

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Coming to a setup program near you....

I've got the image download and the grid selection just about sorted, Now I just need to get the tile output done and we will be in business.

At it again

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Came in tonight with an urge to write some code. Just as soon as I'd finished watching "Harvey". Wonderful old film staring James Stewart. Anyhoo, I'm going to write another Flickr program, this time to create lots of little images from a single Flickr picture. The idea is that you can make mosaics to have printed out on little cards.  I've called it my "Moosaic" program (not my idea I'm afraid).

I've got so far and run out of steam for tonight(must be my age). Should have it going tomorrow.....

Speed Meeting

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We had a staff meeting today. Over in fifty minutes. Amazing. Kudos to the chairman, and the idea of sending out all the reports electronically in advance. I'd taken the Tablet PC in so that I could even have the notes on the screen (and doodle on them, just like in the old days with paper). I thought I was being high tech and kewl.

So much for being ahead of the game. I counted four other tablets and laptops in use during the meeting. At least I'd turned the sound down on mine, heh.

Oblivion with Cars

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One of the wonderful things about the XBOX 360 is the way that you can download demos of games. Actually, this is probably not wonderful, more like expensive. I've already bought a couple of games on the back of this "feature". Darn it.

In the old days I had to wait until a magazine with a coverdisk came out. Nowadays I just leave the machine chugging for a couple of hours whilst the next potential wallet buster comes down the wires.

And so, I downloaded the demo of Test Drive Unlimited. This is a driving game. Actually, game is probably a bit of an understatement. It is more like a better version of life. You start off with a massive house in Hawii and a few cars in the garage. You look a lot cooler than you really do (at least in my case), and you seem to have a lot more spare time.

So you go for a drive. You can drive anywhere on the island. Happen you'll meet up with another driver, who may or may not be a real person. Happen you'll have a race. Happen you'll go the wrong way round the track, get hopelessly lost and embarras yourself. Or you might be more lucky than me. Anyway, if you win, money changes hands and you can save up for a new, even shinier car.

And so it goes on. The weather changes, the time of day changes. The road goes on, seemingly for ever. There are no loading screens. There is no slowdown. You can use your GPS to find things of interest and you can also meet up with your chums for races. When you sit in the car, you sit in the car. You can even make the windows go up and down.  

The car handling is realistic enough to be annoying. You can crash into things and do damage to them, but not apparently to yourself. If you are sufficiently naughty the police might want to take you to task. If you are feeling brave you can get on a motorbike instead.

When I first played Oblivion, the massive XBOX 360 roleplaying game, I was impressed by the way that the world was totally believable, and massive. Test Drive Unlimited is like that, but with cars and no loading delays at all. Folks, this is proper next generation gaming. Not a flashier version of an existing game, but a whole new immersive experience. If you have an XBOX 360 you should at least get hold of the demo of this game. Then, like me, you can start saving for the real thing...

Roman Holiday

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Last week I bought a new camera. I really shouldn't have. But this was a real bargain and so I liquidated all my ebay assets and sallied forth to Currys to make the purchase. I wanted the camera because it has a very long zoom lens.

So today we went off to Sewerby Park, where they were doing some Roman re-enactments. And out came the camera...

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Sewerby House looking good

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A local parrot

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They do have some superb gardens here.

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Bridlington Bay

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And looking the other way..

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Apparently it is rather hard to shoot an arrow from horseback.

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Testing the troops

Running Shoes

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Note: This post is vaguely disgusting. Sorry, but it is.

When we signed up for the India trip I mentioned to Margot that I would need to take anti-malaria pills.

"They'll make you ill" she said

How right she was.  I've just stopped taking them and by jove I feel better.  In the list of side effects for the particular tablets I was using was a complaint which might give rise to a need for the items mentioned in the title of this post (not to put too fine a point on it). I got that all right. Fortunately, amongst the armoury of medications I had taken with me was a preparation which was intended to resolve this issue.

Imodium Plus. What a wonderful marketing name. Im from Immobilise, od from commode, and ium to make it sound vaguely scientific. Then add a plus to emphasise the power of the stuff.  Didn't do anything for me though (or perhaps it did - and the consequences of not taking it would have been much worse). One thing I found mildly amusing was an entry on the list of side-effects for Imodium. Apparently it can cause constipation. If only.

The rehydration stuff was wonderful though.  If you are going abroad you must take some. Only problem was that I got the "multi-flavour" pack, which included banana flavoured salty water. This is an experience you want to be only once in a lifetime.

The good news is that my affliction didn't actually stop me from doing anything,  and now that I've stopped taking the tablets I can feel things returning to normal.  The other good news is that all the time I was abroad I didn't get bitten by a single mosquito. Mind you, I was wearing the ultra strong repellent which also managed to dissolve my watch strap. I found this rather encouraging. If it can do that to plastic, it must do even more horrible things to insects.

Actually, thinking about it, I reckon I got off rather lightly. Even with all the fun and games with chemicals, it was still well worth it. And I would go again (but I might try a different malaria pill).

Quick Dry

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I'm not sure if there is a Guiness Book of World Records category for tumble drier purchase, but if there is I want to submit an entry.

Our tumble drier broke last night. We've had it 21 years and it goes and fails on us.  Actually the drier itself is fine, but the bit which makes it stop was broken. We found this out after it had tumbled a bunch of clothes for three hours. Ooops.

Anyhoo, having been told in a couple of shops that they didn't have what we wanted (I reckon the bigger the store the less chance of it actually having the thing you went in for) we found a place that did. So we swooped. Into the shop, pick it up, take it to the till, pay for it, less than five minutes.

And it works. And it stops. Wonderful.

Pinball

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We were driving back up to Hull today and I was listening to BBC Radio 2 (not a thing I do lightly - unless Terry Wogan is on). They have this feature where people get to pick their favourite tracks. This week it has been Harry Shearer, who is one of the voices of The Simpsons (he does Mr. Burns, Smithers and a whole bunch of others).

And one of the tracks that he picked was Pinball by Brian Protheroe. One of my all time favourites.  Got the single in the loft. What are the chances?

Of course as soon as I got home and on line it was time to try and track down the track. Google and Ebay have provided me with links to his new home page and a cheap copy of his greatest hits. And Napster now have one of his albums on there as well. Amazing.

(Oh, and you really must hear his track "Never Join the Fire Brigade" as well - wonderful stuff)

Goodbye Mark

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A few weeks ago Mark Johnston of Microsoft told us he was moving on from the Academic beat and going into to something to do with development. Very sad. Microsoft people do move around within the company rather a lot, it is just the way they do things.

We have worked with Mark for quite a while, definitely one of the good guys, and it will be quite a wrench to see him move on. Anyhoo, best wishes for the future Mark.

As a mark of respect I have sent him a set of "24 Top Trumps" cards.  There is no higher honour.

Miles Roberts?

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Today is the day we go home. We started early, very early, having heard terrible stories of delays at the airport. Our flight was delayed a bit, but fortunately not by much. The bad news for me was that lots of my precious toys had been placed in my unreliable suitcase, the one that likes to travel the world by itself. I was pretty much convinced that it would decide to visit some more interesting parts of the world and take all my stuff with it.

Anyhoo, you do what the safety instructions tell you. Or perhaps you don't. Having been given dire warnings of the consequences of taking any kind of hand baggage onto the plane, with just my passport, wallet and a paperback in my possession,  I was more than miffed to see people boarding the plane with rucksacks, laptop bags, you name it. 

So we settled down in our seats and waited as the plane pulled back from its stand and made ready for takeoff. And then it stopped for a minute. Then five minutes. Then the captain came on the intercom.

"I'm afraid we have to return to the stand and open up the hold. There is a problem with some of the luggage"

Drat. Triple drat. What kind of an idiot is causing delays? What kind of fool is holding everyone up? If I find out who it is I'll..... The intercom crackled again.

"Is there a Miles Roberts on the plane? Would Miles Roberts please make himself known to the cabin staff?"

Blarst. Could they mean me? I raised my hand. Turned out that the system had spotted three bags in the hold belonging to "Miles Roberts". Somewhere along the line my name and initials had got scrambled to make another person, who was not on the plane but who had his baggage in the hold.  I gave the purser my passport with the luggage numbers on it, which sorted that out and we were able to get airborne. Curse that suitcase.

The rest of the journey was uneventful, if you except the one hour wait at Heathrow for a place to disembark, and I was able to catch the tube to Kings Cross and then walk straight onto a wonderful Hull Trains locomotive for a very pleasant three hour ride up to Hull and home.

The Walls Have Ears

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We were in the tearoom having one of our high level discussions (as I remember the question was "Why were the 'Yellow Bus Company' busses never actually yellow, but usually grey" - the prevailing opinion was that the yellow paint had been scraped off them and used for no-parking marks on the road).

Anyhoo, at the height of the discourse one of the large posters in the room suddenly peeled itself off the wall and seemed to be making for the door.  I hope it wasn't a statement on the quality of the conversation.