The Little Brown Ikea Pencil of Doom: Part 2

When Jane Wilkins got home from her teaching job at MadeupTown School she was surprised to see her husband's car parked in the drive. "Jim usually goes out with the lads from the station on a Thursday night" she thought to herself as she pushed open the front door. Half way open it stuck. She squeezed around the door and gasped in surprise at the scene in front of her. Blocking the door was a large cardboard package marked "Klodd: 1 of 3" and all around were packages and bags bearing a familiar yellow and blue logo.

"Jim?" she called.

"In here love" came a voice from the living room. She crossed the hall and saw her husband in the middle of the room, surrounded by sections of a large pine bookcase.

"What are you doing?" she asked. Her husband looked up at her, still dressed in his police uniform, screwdriver in hand.

"Well love, when I saw the list that you had left me I thought I'd go out and surprise you. It took a bit longer than I thought, and some of the bits are on order, but, well, here we are". She followed his gaze around the room, taking in the new clock, pelmet, curtains and toothpaste dispenser.

"It's very nice." she said, "But I don't remember leaving you a list."

"Course you did love." he replied. "I found it on the car seat when I came out of the station at the end of the shift. The store is only on the way home and so I thought I'd pick it all up. You must admit it looks good." And yes, it did look good. And she had been remarking lately that a few new bits and pieces would spruce the place up a bit. But she didn't remember writing anything down about an inflatable chair. Certainly not in that shade of green.

"I'll go and put the kettle on." she said, stepping over the discarded packaging on her way to the kitchen. As she walked past her husband she noticed something on the side of his head.

"What's that?" she asked, pointing.

"Oh that." he smiled, reaching behind his ear. "I'd quite forgotten that was there". He put the little brown pencil down on the mantelpiece.

(to be continued)

And this is just scary.