My invisible friend has disappeared again. I've looked for him everywhere. I went to the police to report him missing. They asked when I'd last seen him. I said never. They said I wasn't helping them much with their enquiries. Have you noticed how young policemen are looking these days? The way I see it, you can time travel into the past by looking at a baby policeman. Babies are cute. They are like little versions of people. But smaller. I used to be small. But that was a long time ago, when things in general were bigger.

I think it is time I went for a lie down.