Home Alone Rob

I'm having some time "Home Alone" as number one wife is away for a few days. This is rather interesting, as it doesn't happen very often. I've been going round the kitchen to see what happens in there and taking a look in the cupboards. Most of them seem quite sensible, with some things in them that I recognise. Cups, plates, breakfast cereal etc. Others are rather strange.

Apparently there's a "magic cold cupboard" that holds the milk and whatnot, and a magic warm cupboard which is where I can put things if I want to heat them up. Although I'm not completely sure about why I would want to do this. Perhaps it is something to do with this "cooking" thing I see so much of on the telly.

There's another magic cupboard with a round opening that I can't quite figure out. I put some crockery in there and turned it on, and all that happened was a horrendous noise and a lot of broken bits. So it's not for washing dishes.

I've been shown a bunch of things in the "magic cold cupboard" that I can transfer to the "magic buzzing cupboard" to make them warm enough to eat. I've even been planning my menus for the next few days.

In my opinion the way that we eat today is boring. Just because something has worked fine for many years is no reason to keep doing it (at least that is what seems to be driving the world these days). What we need is some novel approaches to eating. Heaven knows, we've had enough of experts telling us how to eat over the years. It's time for some radical thinking. I've come up with the following possible plans.

  1. Eat nothing. This might serve as a handy weight reduction plan and definitely save some money. However, the long term prospects may not be great.
  2. Eat nothing but food that I really like. After millions of years of evolution and adaption it seems stupid that things that are supposedly "good" for me don't taste very nice. My body knows what it's doing. If it wants nothing but honey roasted peanuts and Kellogg's Cocoa Pops then perhaps that's nature's way of saying that's all I should eat. There may be a downside to this, but I'm struggling to think of one.
  3. Eat everything on the first day. Number one wife is back on Sunday. I could eat a whole four day's worth of food today and then nothing for the rest of the week. I'm struggling to understand why we don't already do this. It would be so much more efficient. On the other hand, I may discover why about half way through my third lasagna.
  4. We normally have breakfast, lunch and tea each day. Why? I could have all my breakfasts on Wednesday, lunches on Thursday and so on through the week. If I run out of meals I can start at breakfast again, or even invent new ones. This would add a bit of novelty to my life and bring back memories of my time in a bedsit when I actually did this, for the simple reason that the only food I had to hand was Kellogg's Cocoa Pops.