Bring on Happy Hour

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Imagine you are going on a journey. You get the car out, and then nip back into the house to fetch your luggage. When you get back outside you find that your car has driven itself off to the garage to sort out a problem with one of the wheel trims and it will be there for the next couple of hours.

I don't think that many drivers would put up with this. But computer users get it all the time.

This morning I needed to use a computer that I hadn't turned on for a while. For some reason I thought this was not going to cause me problems. How wrong I was. When the machine woke up it decided to upgrade its Java installation.

Now, I don't use Java very much, I only added the runtimes so that I could run some programs that I needed to take a look at. Java is a nice enough language, it is just not one that I use any more. I certainly don't need an update. Particularly one which takes the thick end of half an hour, and which seems to lock up the machine while the update completes.

Nothing strikes fear into my heart more than the phrase "New updates are ready to install". This usually means that I have to fire up my other computer so I can get some work done whilst checking on the updating machine for buttons that I need to press. You can't just go off and have a coffee, oh no, because as soon as you turn away from the machine it pops up a spurious dialogue box which you have to click on to start the download of the download downloader or somesuch rubbish.

We really need to get a handle on this kind of thing, the tail has started wagging the dog I reckon. I know you can get the machine to do updates at midnight, but this means leaving the machine on overnight, which I'm not always keen to do and is probably not a very efficient thing to do from an environmental point of view.I get really cross when I fire up my machine and all kinds of dross gets to run before I can see my email.

I think there should be a kind of "happy hour" on a machine when it first wakes up. Rather than starting up all the updates, sidebars, screen savers, sync centers, search indexers, de-fragmenters, bluetooth managers and god knows what else, for the first hour of use a machine should just concentrate on running the programs that I start. Once things have settled down, and I'm sitting there wondering what key to press, then the operating system can start gradually introducing the things that can be left to catch up later. Should be easy enough to add and it would make lots of people happier. Including me.

Increase your word power

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I upgraded the memory in my Media Centre today. It has been running well, but I'd managed to convince myself that it was short of memory. And I was anxious to make the most of the "ten pounds off every purchase over thirty quid" offer still running at ebuyer.com. The memory arrived today, so it was off with the lid to begin the "two minute job" which was actually plugging in the chips. And I saw what Sony had done. And I said a naughty word.

The memory sockets were right where I could see them, really easy to get at, which was good. However the catches at one side of the sockets were completely fouled up against the graphics card. There was no way to add the memory without taking part of the machine to bits. I'm a great fan of good design. Unfortunately this means that I hate badly designed stuff.  Hence the naughty word.

Anyhoo, I took all the cables and bits and pieces out and got hold of the card. It moved up a quarter of an inch and then stuck. I gave another gentle tug and noticed that other parts of the system board were bending in a generally non-good way. Turns out that, not content with making a mess of the positioning of the memory and graphics card, the designers had also placed some components together which have meshed together in some stupid way, so the card would not come out.  So I said another naughty word and had tea.

Incidentally, have you ever noticed how it us usually time to eat just at the point where a tricky job becomes critical? You're just about to fire up the program for the first time/start the engine/wire up the lightning conductor and throw the circuit breaker etc when the oven timer goes ping and you have to walk away and eat. There was a time when this used to infuriate me, but now I take it in good grace, walk away from the job and then go back with a fresh mind and a full stomach. In this case it was probably a good thing, because on return I managed to slide the card sideways and "twang" the memory in without any further ado.

Then it was time to test the system, put the lid on, and see what happens next. Shaun the sheep looks just the same, of course, but on the whole I'm happier.

Noise Canceled

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When I was in the 'states I got myself a pair of cheap noise canceling headphones. I wasn't expecting them to be up to much, but it turns out that they are quite effective. You turn them on and they do nothing for a few seconds and then there is a kind of un-thump and the sounds outside you vanish. It is a bit like having a wet flannel suddenly wrapped around your head.

I've been wondering what would happen if I played the same music into some speakers and the headphones, sat next to the speaker, and then turned the noise canceling on.......

Posh Tipping

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Is it just this area, or is the local council tip now the "place to be seen". Last time I went down there I was relieved that I had a slightly newer car, as previously I'd felt a bit out of place in Ye Olde Scenic, surrounded as I was by shiny 4x4s and Mercedes. I had to go again today, and it was just the same, maybe worse. One pair even rolled up in a brand new BMW open top sports car. And the girl sweeping up the leaves was wearing bright green eyeshadow. Very strange.

I kept waiting for the music to start up, at which point everyone would rip off their overalls to reveal spangled costumes and then go into some appalling song and dance routine like that garage bit in "Grease". Fortunately this didn't happen. (or perhaps it did just minutes after I left)

There are two theories that I can advance that fit my observations:

  1. People now enjoy themselves on bank holidays by making up a big bag of rubbish, getting in their bestest car and then heading down to the dumps.
  2. There is a lot more money in gardening than I had previously suspected.

Shaun the Sheep Rocks

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My Media Centre PC is now settling down nicely. I've stopped using the cable that crashes it and, guess what, it doesn't crash any more. I've just ordered another gig of RAM for it which should give it a bit more room to move around in.

A tip, you can get 10 quid off any order more than 30 quid at Ebuyer at the moment if you sign up to the Google ordering thingy. I've used it twice now, I'll take money from anyone...

Anyhoo, I told the Media PC to get all the showings of Shaun the Sheep 'cos I think it is ace. It is aimed at kids, so it goes down a treat with me. Just simple farmyard antics with the character from the Wallace and Gromit "Close Shave". My present fave is the one with the bees. Catch it if you can.

Lectures, Scary Security, FPL, XNA and Sound Bites

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Today has been busy. Oh yes. It started with an unexpected lecture. We are now in week 11 of the semester, with teaching supposed to have finished at the end of week 10. But the first year students wanted more, and so I went off at 9:15 to deliver. Actually, it worked quite well, in that I was able to go through the quiz that I set last week.

Then it was back to the labs to get ready for our XNA event. Andy Sithers from Microsoft had come over to formally hand over the XBOX 360s they have given us to help with our XNA teaching in the first year. We had to set them up in the lab for the pictures, and get some stuff working. Simon Dickson and Phil Cluff from our first year came in to show of what they have been doing.

Then, after a quick lunch the presentation tool place. We all contorted ourselves into the best position for the perfect shot for the papers. Danielle Cod from Radio Humberside interviewed our head of department, Andy, Simon and Phil and finally me, in search of the perfect soundbyte. You can grab the resulting two minute piece here. Much to my dismay they seem to have left Andy and Warren on the cutting room floor.....

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This picture kind of captures the event. In the back Warren Viant, our head of department, is being recorded whilst Andy Sithers ponders the code and Simon grapples with debugging and being interviewed all at the same time....

After all this we had to dash off to an event that I had pretentiously entitled our "Software Symposium". (Did you know that symposium used to mean drinking session?). Anyhoo, the event started with a double headed presentation from Robert Hogg of software developers Black Marble and Ed Gibson who is Chief Security Advisor for Microsoft UK. The topic was safety and computers.

I'd heard bits of it before at the Black Marble event last year, but it was obviously news to the audience, who sat silently as Robert and Ed laid it on the line about just how scary things are. I managed to be both petrified about what was going on out there and relieved that Robert and Ed are going around spreading the word and engaging budding software developers with the problems posed by the wonderful connected world we live in.

The point they made forcefully and effectively is that the big problems are not down to technology, they are down to people. If we don't keep our software up to date and we allow ourselves to be bamboozled into giving passwords to cunning callers then no amount of code is going to help.

Next, and on a somewhat lighter note, the Seedlings, our Imagine Cup winning team, gave us a presentation of their entry. The First Programming Language they are working on is aimed to engage everyone with the kind of problem solving techniques that will allow them to use a computer to best advantage, whether or not they end up writing programs.

Then after a closing address from Andy Sithers of Microsoft, about the value of competition and the usefulness to students of just plain taking part, it was time to zoom off and try to find a recorder for the radio broadcast.....

Busy day.

Nature's Way...

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Today I had to reboot Vista. Not something I do very often, or by choice, but I'd just installed some new software and it needed a reboot, so off we went.

On the way back it did a checkdisk. Something about broken chains somewhere. I'd not seen this message before, but I figured out it might be nature's way of saying it was time to take a backup. I fired up the Backup and Restore centre in Vista and two clicks and two hours later I'm the proud possessor of a bunch of files on my network storage device which will probably allow me to reconstruct my life should my laptop disk decide to tip over. The next thing I'm going to do, of course, is pick a file or two at random and try to restore them from the backup. When this works I can relax.

I remember a horror story from the back in the mists of time where a system manager (not me) had a hard disk crash. He was feeling quite relaxed about this, as he loaded up his backup tapes. Ten minutes later he was feeling less relaxed, when he found that his backup command saved the directory structure, but not the files. He hadn't thought to check that he could actually get anything off the tapes that he had been carefully creating and saving for years.....

So Many Questions....

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I'm trying out something new with the First Year students. I hope they don't mind. Around this time of year thoughts turn to examinations, and I usually set up some quizzes to help the revision process.

This year I'm doing things a little differently. Rather than a set of complicated questions that take ages to work out and answer, I'm setting around 50 or so snappy "true or false" ones. The idea is that you don't have to figure out which is the odd one out, or what the question is gunning for, you just have to agree or disagree with the statement.

I'm going to send out the marked papers after the weekend and invite everyone to have a look at their answers and the right ones, and then at the end of next week I'll run a revision lecture to follow up on the whole thing.

It will be interesting to see how it turns out.

Games and Wires

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Today we had a meeting where we are setting up a pilot project to let our students run a games server on campus. Previously this has been a fraught business, with concern about bandwidth use and system management from all sides. However, after an enlightened decision from the university Computer Users Group we are now opening up some bandwidth monitored ports onto the student cluster in freeside.

This could be fun...

Drunk with Readers

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I've been using a new mechanism to make sure that the readership of these august pages is holding up (not sure what you are holding up actually, but from here it looks like your hands need washing).

Anyhoo, I've been using this new service from Google Analytics, which lets me see who has been visiting the page, what time they came, whether they were wearing a tie, etc, etc. It is very powerful. It has lots of things you can use to evaluate the effectiveness of advertising and page design, see how far most people go through your content and the like. Most people seem to arrive at my site, take one look at the opening page and then vanish at speed.

Such is life.

If you run a proper web page which actually has serious intent you should take a look at the service, I can see how it could be very useful.

There is talk of a new version, which will let you find out how many people have visited your web site on the way back from the pub. That is going to be called "Google Paralytics".

PDF Output from Vista

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I'm a happy bunny. The weather is good. The book is written. And I've got a working PDF output program for Vista.

Perhaps I'm setting my sights a bit low; other people might wish for riches or movie star looks whereas I'm happy with a bit of sunshine, a few pages of text and Primo PDF.

Mind you, according to a survey this week the key to happiness is maintaining low expectations...

Plumb Job

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Earlier this morning I was wondering how I was going to spend all this new free time that I have now that the writing on the book is finished.

This afternoon I found out. I get to clean mouse droppings out of the summer house. The pesky little rodents had made their way back in over the winter and seemed to have held a particularly messy party in my gardening gloves.

Lovely.