Devil Wears Prada vs Cars

Went to see "The Devil Wears Prada" tonight. Even though I am of course the epitome of style, I thought it worth taking a look to see if there was anything I could teach the world of fashion.

Good film. Bit like the last film that I saw, which was Pixar's cars.

  • Both films had models in them with very shiny paintwork - none of which are actually real.
  • Both films are morality tales.
  • Both films have a baddy (of sorts) who actually gets what they want at the end (but at what cost to themselves? we are invited to ask).

Anne Hathaway played the young innocent seduced by the world of glamour rather well I thought. And Meryl Streep was wonderful as the editor in chief with a heart of granite.

In conclusion, I quite liked the movie, even though I was one of around three blokes in the rather full cinema.

The other good thing about the night was the trailer for the new Bond film, which looks like it is going to be a corker.

Horizon: The Rise of the machines eh?

When I was younger the summers were longer, grass was greener, beer was cheaper etc etc. And the BBC science program 'Horizon' was worth watching. Against my better judgement I watched it again tonight, mainly because the subject was Artificial Intelligence or how modern computer science, brain research and general stuff means that in precisely 22 years we will be downloading our consciousness into hyper intelligent machines to make a Human Vsn. 2.0 which will then wage a war with the remaining klutzes on the planet in which billions will be killed.

 What complete and utter rubbish.

Apparently, one of the reasons that this all makes perfect sense is that around 20 years ago a nutcase sent a bunch of bombs to people in America to stop it happening. Yeah, right.

I kind of lost it when the narrator mis-quoted Moore's Law. Then we had a bloke who had managed, by plugging wires into the brain of monkey, to capture and replicate the moment of the monkey arm. Apparently this was a big advance. Along the lines of "Hey, we've made a tape recorder. Now we understand music". Do we heck.

Then we were whisked to another laboratory, where another man with bad hair and a big vat of liquid helium told us how he could make computers which can do this and that at the same time. I used to have one of those but I scrapped it for a machine which actually worked.

Before they could explain what this meant we were sent off to see a bloke who is taking lots of pills and walking on a treadmill so that he can survive the next 22 years, whereupon he can download his consciousness into the machines we will be making by then. He was doing this with such smug assurance that I ended up hoping that he would get knocked down by a bus in 2028 on the way to get his brain recorded.

Then there was the chap who was taking rat's brains to bits so that he could put them into a pile of Sun computers. And the scientist using the Basic Stamp (in the shops for fifty quid folks) to remote control a rat.

 By now my own consciousness was making a valiant attempt to crawl out of my ears and reach the TV remote.

There was nothing here that made me more scared of the future, and quite a lot which made me scared of the present. If these are the kind of people we are giving money and resources to I can see trouble ahead.

I'm sure that I've missed the point (definitely Human Vsn. 1.0 me), and that all these professors and well funded genius types are going to succeed in making something with a higher level of consciousness. I for one will welcome the day. I'll give it a camera and put it in charge of making better science programs. Then again, I reckon the monkey could have probably done that.

Madness I tell you

If you go to the MSN home page at the moment you can see an advert for satnav for a Buick car. The tagline for Buick would seem to be "Beyond Precision".

What rubbish. How can you be more precise than precise? This sort of advertising really annoys me.  I really dislike it when people mess up with English. How on earth did they get to this?

Scene : Advertising Agency

Drone 1: "They say that this satnav is precise."
Drone 2: "And precise is good, right?"
Drone 1: "..and so more than precise would be even better?"
Drone 2:"I've always liked 'beyond'....."
Drone 1:"So, 'Beyond Precision' it is then. Send them a bill for fifty thousand as usual."

shudder

Torchwood

The BBC launched its new "Dr. Who for grown ups" today. Called Torchwood, it follows a team of alien artifact experts working to understand strange technology which has fallen through a gap in space/time and landed in Wales.

Or something.

It is high grade, imaginative hocum with a big budget look and I'm signing up. It is certainly not for kiddies, but this grown up likes it.

The first episode is very nicely plotted with a lovely twist at the end. The second overcooks things a little bit, but is still worth watching.

And it looks like there are some lovely plot arcs being slotted into place.

BBC 2 is repeating the program on Wednesdy night. Worth a watch.

Useful Hull Web Sites

My mate Geoff has made a couple of very useful web sites for people who live in Hull. One gives you a list of what is on at the local Cineworld and the other the weather forecast. They both go onto web sites to scrape the data and then present a page just right for viewing on a mobile device:

http://www.geoff.org.uk/cinema.php

http://www.geoff.org.uk/weather.php

Worth adding to your mobile favourites.

When someone rings me a penguin dances

One of my students very kindly sent me a Firebox.com voucher after I helped her debug her program (not sure how this figures in the scheme of things bribery + corruption wise, but since the voucher has a cash redemption value of 0.001 pence I don't think I necessarily have to inform the authorities).

Anyhoo, it was off down to the Firebox web site to see what goodies they had in store. I got the latest version of 20Q - which is even more impressive than the original - and a bunch of mopods for me and the ladies in my family (they won't work for number one son 'cos he is on 3G - but you can't have everything). Actually, the voucher only covered a small part of the total price - but since I was saving money I was quite happy about this....

Mopods are fun. They are a little figure in a tiny glass jar and when your phone rings they dance. I got the penguin one which is quite neat. In the unlikely event of someone ringing me up (although it did happen in a lecture today....) he spins on the spot and lights flash. For a fiver they are quite good value.  Actually, I get quite a bit of dance action because he also detects when my phone connects to ActiveSync email and does a little dance then too.

The Big Cheese is Coming

For some time my newspaper of choice (The Guardian)has been giving out wallcharts depicting different varieties of things. It started with things like fossils and animals, but they seem to have been running out of steam recently, having to resort to footling things like apples and salad vegatables to keep going.

Until now.

Tomorrow they are giving away a cheese wallchart. Oh yes. One for the office wall methinks.

Note: I know that cheese is essentially a lump of fat with good PR, but I still like it.

Give Blood In Style

Rather an unusual request first thing in the morning.

"Do you have a spare 'wherewouldyouthink.com' T shirt, as I'm giving blood today?"

Apparently if you wear a long sleeved shirt, as Simon was doing, they can't easily stick the needle in. Fortunately I had one left (we are having another batch printed soon) and so he was able to go and take part with maximum style.

He offered me the shirt back afterwards. Er, thanks, but no thanks....

Which puts me in mind of a joke:

First Cannibal: "Sorry if this tastes a bit dry, but I caught him just as he was leaving the Blood Bank".
Second Cannibal : "It's alright, I've always rather liked Donor Kebabs"

Review : Applications = Code + Markup by Charles Petzold

I was kind of hoping that they wouldn't have it in stock since if they did I would make myself poorer. But there it was on the shelf. Browns in Hull had a copy of "Applications = Code + Markup" by Charles Petzold.  If you have any kind of history in Windows programming you will have come across Charles before. He wrote pretty much the definitive guide to programming Windows 3.1 way back in 1992 (I have a copy) and he has been writing new books about Windows programming ever since.

And now he has come up to date with the release of his book which tells you how to create programs which use the Windows Presentation Foundation (WPF) which is the way that you create user interfaces for Vista. I've been following the development of the book via his blog (which, although not as good as mine of course, is still worth a read).

I had kind of told myself that I would buy a copy if I happened to come across one, and on Saturday I found that Browns Bookstore in Hull had one in stock. And so I bought it. For the same price I could have got Lego Star Wars II for the XBOX 360, although I think I'll probably have more fun with the book to be honest (but I am a sad programmer).

I've been ploughing through it, but I'm nowhere near the end of its 1,000 or so pages. Charles Petzold writes very well, and I find the material very interesting. Some people might find the level of detail given a bit pernickety and distracting, but I really like it. And the other thing I really like is the approach taken.

I've been trying to make sense of XAML, (the markup language which lets you describe how your forms will appear to the user) and not having much fun or luck. As a programmer I want to get hold of the objects and control them programmatically, not by means of lots and lots of text. And although XAML lets me set up animations of bits and bobs (and you can have a lot of useless fun with this) as a person writing a program intended to do something I don't find the ability useful. Add to that the fact that the MSDN documentation is pretty appalling, actually telling you less than the IntelliSense in Visual Studio, and you have a recipe for frustration.

What the Petzold book does is put all the XAML stuff in the second half, and spends the first half telling programmers how to use the new user interface classes at a very high, and useful, level of detail. I've not reached the markup pages yet and I don't care. I'm too busy finding out how easy it is to lay out user interfaces which automatically design themselves when they load.

One of the very few things that I missed from Java when I switched to C# some time ago was the "GridBagLayout" manager. This was a swine to master, but when you got your head around it you could write displays which pretty much laid themselves out for whatever orientation and size of display you were using. In fact I missed it so much that when I moved to C# the first thing I did was write a layout manager.

With WPF something very similar to GridBagLayout is now available. And the way you use it is way better too. The book makes this clear and uses loads of examples to help you along the way. There are no screenshots though, which I initially found rather surprising. However, the good news is that this means you are encouraged to "code along" with the book, pulling up the examples and modifying them along with the text. This is a very good way to learn, and leaving out pictures means that the book can contain more text, which adds to the value.

In short, I think that this book will become as indispensable to the programmer as the earlier ones have, and if you want to learn how to do this stuff you should bag a copy. Amazon have it on a healthy discount which I wish I'd seen before I bought mine from a shop.

From Hero to Zero

I'm getting cross with my Guitar Hero game now. Although playing the game is great fun it does seem to have the knack of losing all my saved data. For the second time it has forgotten everything and lost all my hard earned progress. I'm pretty sure the game is at fault, in that the save file is there on the memory card (and I can copy it around and stuff) but the game just refuses to recognise it. Most annoying.

I think I'm going to put my PS2 version up for sale and then get the XBOX 360 version when it comes out.

Hull Fair

We went to Hull Fair tonight. We tried to go last year but it was pretty much full. So this time we set out early. We took the camera along, but minimal funds - just to be on the safe side.

269499443
The Freak Out ride. Scary, and one of the smaller ones

269499600
I just love the classy artwork on this one.

269499713
More "Hook a Pooh" than "Hook a Duck"

269499896
What you win if you aren't careful

269500073
I think this is my favourite fair picture

269500293
The one ride I actually went on. Note the attractive price and the fact that it does not seem capable of leaving the ground.

269500537
Or not

269500672
Look carefully. I'm third from the left. Yeah. Right.

We managed to escape only nine pounds down on the trip. But a cuddly monkey, four donuts, some nougat and some peanut brittle up. And it was a great night.

Shopping Thoughts

Went up town today (big surprise). I find that strange thoughts come to me as I wander round the shops.

We bought some shampoo for the guinea pigs. They have long hair (don't ask) and we have to keep it shiny clean. I was wondering if it had been tested on animals.

Then I went past the Early Learning Centre, where you can now buy a "Castle of Doom" for your tiny tots to play with. Only seventy quid. What kind message does this send to our newest citizens?

Scene : Christmas Morn

(FX : Sound of frantic unwrapping)

Child : "Oh daddy, it is just what I've always wanted. A dank place of total despair where all who enter can suffer torture and and a lingering death."
Father:  "Well, son, I just hope you'll play nicely with it."