Useless Software

Imagine you were thinking about buying a car. It had a satnav, heated seats, electric windows, a hundred and one extras that you will probably never use. It is attractively coloured and pleasing to the eye. You can almost afford it.

But it won't turn right.

Would you buy it? Me neither. And yet people are happy to buy and use software that fails just as spectacularly. I mentioned some time back my torment at the hands of some software by HP which purported to let me create albums but actually just messed me around until I removed it from my disk.

Today I've been playing with Adobe Photoshop Elements. This lets you create similar albums and, after a while, I've managed to get the images I want.

But I can't print them. That is, I can get them onto paper but the size is always wrong. I've wasted a couple of pounds worth of paper and ink. As I type this program is randomly resizing the images behind Windows Live Writer in a way that does not inspire confidence. I've tried numerous combinations of printer and paper configuration, screen preview and all manner of settings to try and get what I want, which is pictures on paper the same size and shape as the ones on the screen.

This is insane. I'm supposed to be good at this stuff. How someone less well versed in printer configuration would get by I have no idea. What you really want is a big red button that says "put these on the paper how they look on the screen". What I have got is several buckets full of confusion. I hate this. I would never let software go out of the door with this mix of complexity and uselessness.

I've had this before with various printers and programs. I M Wright has some things to say about the way that programmers always want to work on the advanced features and leave out the boring stuff like making the program actually do what it is supposed to do. How right he is.

Amazon Music Store Fun and Games

Amazon are moving in to music distribution. Alongside books, computer games and toys you can now download unprotected MP3 files at very good prices including some albums at a loss leading 3 pounds each. So I had a go.

First mistake was to try and use the university network. So that meant a big hello to the university firewall and everything locking up and timing out. So, after a number of retries I just closed the notebook and went home, hoping that the machine would fire up and keep going on the home network.  Which it did. Problem was that I had initiated the download several times, and the rather stupid Amazon download tool insisted on fetching the same thing three or four times, just to be sure. So that was an entire evening of bandwidth out of the window.

However, once I'd got the files off the machine and tidied up all the excess copies I reckon it is a pretty good deal. The files are standard MP3s captured at 320K bps, which means that they will play pretty much anywhere with good sound quality.

Worth checking out, but don't press the download button more than once.

Christmas Bash

We had our Christmas Bash today. Went rather well, right up to the point where I opened the box with the game disk for the quiz, right at the end, and found that it was empty. So, no quiz. But we did everything else and much fun, and pizza was had. It is a moment of great personal pride to think that I managed to get to the point where all of the 60 or so students were full up. We nearly had food left over. Amazing. I took the big camera and loads of pictures.

Sam gets into Half Life 2

Drinks and nibbles (and pink christmas trees)

Thanks for coming and thank to everyone who helped out.

How Many People Per Pizza?

I'm planning the food for next week's Christmas Bash at Hull. Of course we are having pizza. But the question arises, how many do we need? I'm expecting around 60 or so students (the fact they are students might be significant here).

How many large pizzas will fit the bill and leave us neither looking stingy or wading in cheese?

You Can't Beat a bit of Rehearsal

Went to Doncaster today. The University of Hull validates a couple of their degree programs (Integrated Technology and Business Computing and so I had a couple of meetings to attend, followed by a presentation to their students. The meetings went well and then I had to do my talks about the University and what we do, with particular reference to projects. They were a great audience, and asked loads of sensible questions. I wish I'd taken the trouble to read through my slides before I started the talk, I'd used them before but kept having déjà-vu moments, where I put up a slide all about something I'd just said. Oh well, next time I'll give them a read through first.

Thanks for making us so welcome folks, and I'm looking forward to seeing the projects next year.

Zombie Fragfest

One of these people is a zombie....

Dropped in on the Hull Com. Soc. Frag Fest today. I was in a bit of a hurry, so I didn't take my machine with me. After I saw what they were playing I rather wished I had though. It was a hilarious mod for Half-Life 2, which pits survivors against a zombie horde which increases steadily as each human player falls prey to the creeping death. I had a quick go and, needless to say, I got zombified really early on each time, but it was still great fun. I took the camera with the toy lens (of which more later) and got some nice pictures.

Nobody who is anybody has a machine with the lid still on......

Adverts on Exams

One of my students has noticed that some institutions are now selling advertising space on their sample exam papers:

http://consumerist.com/5100958/teacher-sells-ads-on-tests-to-cover-printing-costs

I told him that I've got a few companies lined up for mine:

• "Hutchinsons Resit Revision Aids"
• "Johnsons Find and Destroy Lecturer Service"
• "NeverRunOut pens Inc."
• "The Cheater's Tattoo Parlour"

Update on 2008-12-03 12:20 by Rob

Just got an email from "Hutchinsons Resit Revision Aids". They have told me that since students who work on sample papers don't tend to fail the exams, they now wish to withdraw their advert....

Microsoft are Coming to See Us Tomorrow

A quick reminder to anyone at Hull who reads my blog. That's both of you...

Microsoft are coming to see us tomorrow. They are taking their Inspiration Tour on the road and will be giving their presentation starting at 2:15 pm in the Physics Large Lecture Theatre, which is in the same building as the Computer Centre, but up the big stairs and all the way to the back.

Be there, talk is of some free T shirts....

Update on 2008-12-02 09:11 by Rob

Tomorrow is now today, if you see what I mean. Microsoft will be here today, Tuesday 2nd of December at 2:15 pm in Physics Large lecture theatre.

Cheered Up by Students

Bit fed up today. I hate it when I'm not where I should be, and I had been looking forward to going to Copenhagen. Never been to Denmark before and it might be a while before I get the chance again.

The good news is that being back in the office meant that I got a steady stream of students coming by with programs to look at and projects to discuss. And that really cheered me up. I love seeing people making progress and doing stuff. Thanks folks.

Never Trust a Plane that still has a Propeller

I was supposed to fly out to Copenhagen to give a session tomorrow as part of the Windows Embedded European tour. I had all my slides with the snazzy tour template, and a bag packed with hardware to show off.

Instead I went to an airport, sat in a plane for forty minutes, had a drink of orange juice, got out of the plane, queued for an hour, found out there was no way I could get to Copenhagen in time and went home.

We had all watched the plane land, and then were told that "For safety reasons" it was not able to take off again. I reckon the people that we saw arrive in it had a lucky escape.

Such is life I suppose. I tried to be relaxed about it. The only time I got a bit cross was when I was at the desk after an hour wait and the lady there was trying to sort out my travel plans. Having determined that there were no seats on any flights out today, and that a flight tomorrow would have me arrive far too late for my session, I said that in that case there was no point in me going. "So" she said, "You are choosing not to take up our offer of an alternative flight?". I made the point that it was not a matter of choice, if I couldn't get there today there was no reason to travel. "OK." she replied "I'll put on the file that you have decided not to take up our offer". I was too tired to put up much of a fight, and anyway a prominent notice reminded me that anyone who got too shirty would have the full might of KLM to deal with. Assuming they could actually get here of course, what with their transportation technology being so ropey.

I'm very sorry that I didn't make it out to Denmark. I was looking forward to meeting up with the students and seeing some cool Lego tech. Perhaps another time.

100% Perfect

While I was in York yesterday I noticed a beauty salon offering a "100% perfect all over tan" for only 18 pounds. I quite like the idea of having something about me that is 100% perfect.

But, given the choice, I don't think I'd go for my tan.

Car Hire Conundrum

I drove home in a hire car tonight. Very nice Vauxhall with a diesel engine and a rev counter. I was driving along at 60 miles an hour in top gear and the rev counter showed 2000 rpm. I was wondering if I had enough information to work out the speed I would be travelling at if the rev counter showed 3000.

C# Yellow Book Around the World

I've been very surprised (and pleased) by the way that people seem to have picked up on my C# Yellow Book (which you can get for free here). I've had over 3,000 downloads in the last month, which is rather nice.

If I search for it I find loads of sites offering reviews, including this one which I hope is saying nice things...

Back to Lovely Hull

I've no idea why I like Hull so much. But speeding over the Humber Bridge this evening, driving through the wind, rain and darkness having left the sunny climes of California far behind, I really was glad to be back.

Jet Travel Sock Conundrums

One of the daftest things I ever did was to get a set of socks with days of the week on them. I have now of course become fixated with wearing the correct socks on each day, lest some horrible sock-date-related misfortune becomes me as a result.

Today I'm flying back to the UK, losing a few hours of my life in an aluminium tube and crossing a dateline. In short, I take off on Friday and land on Saturday. I have two pairs of socks, one pair marked Friday and the other Saturday. This leaves me several options:

1. Wear the wrong day and suffer whatever vicissitudes that fate decides to deal out as a consequence.
2. Wear one sock marked Friday and the other Saturday. This should mitigate the effects of fate somewhat. It would of course leave me with another pair of odd socks that I could never wear again.
3. Change my socks at midnight on the plane, which could lead to some consternation amongst my fellow passengers.
4. Wear no socks at all.
5. Stop worrying and get a life.

Hmmm. Tricky.

Update on 2008-11-02 20:45 by Rob

I went with the socks marked Friday. On halloween too.  How brave.

Goodbye Graham

Today we said goodbye to Graham Brookes, one of our professors who has been in Hull for a very long time and given great service to the university, as head of the Computer Science Department and also as Dean of Faculty.

Thinking of the next line...

I first met Graham many years ago, when as a young, fresh faced, programmer in the Computer Centre I was asked to show him around the department on his first visit to Hull. Unbeknownst to me the building had undergone some changes and things had moved around a bit since I graduated and so when I proudly opened the door to "Our main computing resource" we were all greeted with the sight of a mop and a couple of buckets in what was now the cleaner's cupboard. Ever since then I have been trying, perhaps vainly, to convince Graham that I am not in fact an idiot.

The good news is that in spite of this display of stupidity at Hull he managed to overcome any reservations that he might have had, and come to work with us anyway. Today, at a nice ceremony in Staff House we said our formal goodbyes and Graham gave a little speech peppered with dry wit and common sense, as is his style.

I'm sure he is going to keep involvement with the business at some level, Graham is active in the British Computer Society and I don't expect him to stop wanting to achieve things. He took the Computer Science Department at Hull and put it firmly on the track it is following today, and for that we owe him a huge debt of gratitude.

Zero Marks

Ever tried to explain arrays, subscripts and addressing in a C# programming lecture where somebody seems to have swiped all the marker pens for the whiteboard?

I have. It is really hard. Never mind. At least I got a blog post out of it. (as I said I would...)

Wonderful Monday and Preparing for PDC 2008

There is quite simply no better way to start a working week than by delivering a 9:15 lecture on Visual Basic. Follow this up with a 1:15 lecture on C# and a 5:15 session on UML design (with a few gripping meetings and a tutorial in between) and you can probably understand why I've been hitting the Strawberry Milkshake (no - really) rather hard tonight.

The good news is that I'm presently preparing for a trip to PDC 2008 in LA. I told the second year that I would be going away and the response was "Wot, again..". The way I see it, if I further my knowledge about technology and gadgets and stuff this will all feed into my teaching and make my lectures even more better than they already are. Oh yes.

I actually feel terrible about leaving all my students in the lurch like this. Rest assured that all lectures have been re-allocated so no study time is to be lost. And I will be checking forum posts and responding to email. (probably faster than ever since I will have nothing else to do when I'm wide awake at 2:00 am) Also bear in mind that the trip will involve me cramming into an economy aircraft seat with my knees above my ears for around 12 hours on the trip out and back.

I'm deep into preparation for the trip. I've activated my emergency credit card and I'm presently packing gadgets, power supplies, cables, cameras and memory cards. Oh, and perhaps a few clothes. I'll be blogging and posting pictures of my misadventures and I'll keep you posted on any interesting new developments. The way I see it, you have a lecturer who doesn't just go the extra mile. He goes 5,500....

Mad Magazine Rocks

I did something today I've not done for a while. I bought a Mad Magazine. I've been buying Mad on and off for over forty years (gosh, that does make me sound old) and it has always been good for a laugh. The magazine I got a while back wasn't that funny, and seemed to be packed with dodgy lifestyle stuff and advertisements, but the latest one seems to be a return to old style satire and gross out humour.

Just right for me then.

I particularly liked this book advert, part of a solid swipe at the Staples office supplies catalogue.

Indeed.

Should Have Pressed F9.....

Just found out today that my beloved Yellow Book, which is the basis of our First Year programming course, has an insane table of contents. It is not wrong, it is wildly wrong, referring to a number of pages that don't actually exist. I've really no idea how this happened, I suspect a change of printers caught Word 2007 on the hop, causing it to kick back by inventing a page 253.

This is rather annoying as we've had loads of them printed. If you have got one of the hallowed tomes, then let me know and I'll send you a PDF with the right numbers in. The only good (if somewhat inexplicable) news, is that the index seems to be correct.