Connundrum
/What's a rhetorical question I ask myself?
Car Trouble
/Ye Olde Fiesta was in a different place this morning. So at least it seems to be working at the moment. It has this rather nice anti-theft device which flattens the battery if you leave the car alone for more than a month or so (something we did a while back). As a way to make the car hard to steal it works great, but too much efficiency is sometimes a problem...
Still not found the registration document though...
Still not found the registration document though...
Car Sale Panic
/I make it a rule never to sell cars to people I know. The problem is that I always worry about the engine exploding/dropping off things that I pass on. There is no reason why our Olde Fiesta should suddenly take it into its head to fall apart, but I reckon that one way to guarantee this is to sell it to somebody who knows me. I suppose that this means that I'm happier ripping off people who I've never met, rather than acquaintances, but there you go.
So, having taken due regard of these strongly held feelings I've just sold the car to Dave next door. I told him about my rule and he instantly claimed to have never met me. So the deal has been done. One more thing to worry about in my nerve racking world.
Now I've got to find the registration document...
So, having taken due regard of these strongly held feelings I've just sold the car to Dave next door. I told him about my rule and he instantly claimed to have never met me. So the deal has been done. One more thing to worry about in my nerve racking world.
Now I've got to find the registration document...
My Time Has Come
/I was very pleased to read in the paper yesterday that "Gadgets are becoming sexy". Apparently the ladies are getting into hardware, so to speak. Personally, I credit the ipod for arriving as "technology as jewelry" and then doing something that can be seen to be actually quite useful. I mean, a robot dog can be made to look quite neat but it doesn't do anything much for you. Whereas the idea of being able to carry round your entire collection of Barry Manilow and Lionel Richie records might have appeal in some quarters.
At last, perhaps as an inveterate gadget collector I am now the man of the moment. This may mean that all my time spent out there on the leading edge is actually going to pay off. With shops like Maplins and Gadget shop opening up all over the country and Christmas stockings filling up with lithium ion powered goodies I will become even more attractive. No more will men be measured by such outdated criteria such as age, looks, wealth and sense of humour. Instead my innate knowledge of technology will allow me to rule supreme.
I will be sought out for advice on the suitability of 3.2 megapixel cameras and what size USB keyring to buy. I will be able reduce parties to scenes of hushed awe as I recount my adventures transcoding video from DivX to WMV. Oh, the glory that is to come.
On the other hand, if the word gets out that I still can't program my JVC video recorder (but then again neither can anyone else) I could be ruined overnight......
At last, perhaps as an inveterate gadget collector I am now the man of the moment. This may mean that all my time spent out there on the leading edge is actually going to pay off. With shops like Maplins and Gadget shop opening up all over the country and Christmas stockings filling up with lithium ion powered goodies I will become even more attractive. No more will men be measured by such outdated criteria such as age, looks, wealth and sense of humour. Instead my innate knowledge of technology will allow me to rule supreme.
I will be sought out for advice on the suitability of 3.2 megapixel cameras and what size USB keyring to buy. I will be able reduce parties to scenes of hushed awe as I recount my adventures transcoding video from DivX to WMV. Oh, the glory that is to come.
On the other hand, if the word gets out that I still can't program my JVC video recorder (but then again neither can anyone else) I could be ruined overnight......
Undeserved Glory
/Like millions of others I bought a copy of the new Halo videogame for the XBOX last week. It is part of my "down with the kids" approach to keeping young. And I like video games. So there. Thing is, I'm not very good at them. With the exception of driving games (for which I have over 20 years or so start) I get thrashed by number one son every time.
So when I started paying Halo I set the difficulty level to "Easy". I just don't feel like a "Normal" kind of player. And, to be quite honest, I kind of like things "Easy". I set my exercise bike to "downhill".
Anyhoo, the game started and I was like a god amongst men. I could kill the baddies with one shot in their general direction. And they could not kill me. And all around my computer controlled colleagues were going "Great shot sir", and "Glad to have you around". I spent one entire level just being driven down a tunnel by the other soldiers. I'd run out of ammo five minutes before but it didn't seem to stop me from emerging a hero at the end.
And after a while I started to feel kind of guilty about this underserved glory. It quite took the edge of the experience. All around me was carnage and if things got tough I could just hide behind a rock while my shields repaired themselves.
I think there is a lesson to be learned here people. And I will consider it learnt once I've finished the complete game at this level. Perhaps I'll try Normal next.
So when I started paying Halo I set the difficulty level to "Easy". I just don't feel like a "Normal" kind of player. And, to be quite honest, I kind of like things "Easy". I set my exercise bike to "downhill".
Anyhoo, the game started and I was like a god amongst men. I could kill the baddies with one shot in their general direction. And they could not kill me. And all around my computer controlled colleagues were going "Great shot sir", and "Glad to have you around". I spent one entire level just being driven down a tunnel by the other soldiers. I'd run out of ammo five minutes before but it didn't seem to stop me from emerging a hero at the end.
And after a while I started to feel kind of guilty about this underserved glory. It quite took the edge of the experience. All around me was carnage and if things got tough I could just hide behind a rock while my shields repaired themselves.
I think there is a lesson to be learned here people. And I will consider it learnt once I've finished the complete game at this level. Perhaps I'll try Normal next.
Red Ticket Resolved
/I parked the car and wrote the message "sticker in post" on the back of the red warning notice, which I then shoved in the windscreen. I thought it was more believable than "Doctor on call".
Apparently the missing parking sticker has been sent to my office. So I had to ring up for another one. This was kind of interesting because:
Apparently the missing parking sticker has been sent to my office. So I had to ring up for another one. This was kind of interesting because:
- They knew that they'd sent me one.
- From the look of my office I could have received one and not noticed.
- They probably knew that too.
- Which meant that I was forced to resort to the line "I wonder if someone has taken if out of my pigeon hole" when I was pretty sure that in fact the envelope is under a pile of paper somewhere.
- I know that as soon as I get the replacement the old one will appear as though by magic.
Anyhoo, they were too nice to actually acuse me of such a high level of incompetence, and so my car is now sporting the sticker and properly legal.
As I walked back to the office from my car I noticed a couple of other cars had scrawled notes in their windscreens too. Which cheered me up.
Red Ticket Blues
/Got back to the car in the university car park this evening and there was an red ticket under the windscreen wiper. This is because I am not displaying my hard won parking pass. If I don't display the pass I can face an arbitrary clamping and a fine of forty quid. Never got the hang of clamping myself. I personally can't rationalise "We don't want cars left here so we are going to clamp them in this position". But this may be the limitations of my brain power.
Anyhoo, I remembered filling in the form and sending of the cheque. I'll just have to sort it out tomorrow. I just hope I can get to sleep tonight now....
Anyhoo, I remembered filling in the form and sending of the cheque. I'll just have to sort it out tomorrow. I just hope I can get to sleep tonight now....
Scary MOT
/Some things in the UK are deeply scary experiences. Perhaps I tend to get more scared than I should, but I must admit that the Ministry Of Transport (or MOT) test has always harboured many demons for me. This is probably because in my younger days I used to own a Mini. The Mini car was noted mainly for two things, the small and neat design and the fact that it could turn into iron oxide at an amazing speed. I noticed that the metal "Angel of the North" statue was shipped "pre-rusted".
So was my Mini. Every year I'd trundle the darned thing down to the garage for its statutary roadworthiness appraisal and find that something else had rusted away/dropped off. This was usually the start of a hugely expensive (for a poor student) and unpleasant bout of tinkering with the fabric of the car to get it into passing form. Eventually of course there was no metal left to weld replacement metal to and I had to endure six months of carlessness. Most unpleasant.
Anyhoo, today we took the "Olde Fiesta" to the MOT place. This is especially traumatic because we are then hoping to sell the little car (we seem to have one car too many). The good news is that they make Fiesta's out of more (or at least some) metal and, pending the replacement of a suspension component which did not break the bank, we are on for the sale. Yay.
So was my Mini. Every year I'd trundle the darned thing down to the garage for its statutary roadworthiness appraisal and find that something else had rusted away/dropped off. This was usually the start of a hugely expensive (for a poor student) and unpleasant bout of tinkering with the fabric of the car to get it into passing form. Eventually of course there was no metal left to weld replacement metal to and I had to endure six months of carlessness. Most unpleasant.
Anyhoo, today we took the "Olde Fiesta" to the MOT place. This is especially traumatic because we are then hoping to sell the little car (we seem to have one car too many). The good news is that they make Fiesta's out of more (or at least some) metal and, pending the replacement of a suspension component which did not break the bank, we are on for the sale. Yay.
ebay relief
/I've become something of a fan of ebay. I've managed to sell a few items and last week I bought a lovely little Philips MP3 player at a considerable discount as number one daughter's christmas present (how come I'm buying and giving christmas presents in November is worth a blog entry all of itself). Number one wife has been somewhat sceptical of my cavalier bidding style and I have of course been dismissing these fears with an airy wave of my mouse hand.
Until last Thursday. I wanted to buy a thing which was very hard to get hold of. Paul (so it is his fault) suggested that I tried ebay. And I found one, bought it with Buy Now, and then discovered that the seller actually hadn't got it for sale. And I was a few hundred pounds down.
Now this posed a problem. How do you find out whether or not someone is a rip off merchant without asking outright? The good news was that the seller seemed a regular guy and that it was just the case that he had been misled at his end too. The bad news was that I figured that a really successful operator would be good at sounding regular - in the same way that only the lesser burglars actually wear striped jerseys and carry sacks marked "swag". So it has been a somewhat nervous few days.
Anyhoo, today I got my money back. I have never been quite so pleased to be returned to the status quo.
Until last Thursday. I wanted to buy a thing which was very hard to get hold of. Paul (so it is his fault) suggested that I tried ebay. And I found one, bought it with Buy Now, and then discovered that the seller actually hadn't got it for sale. And I was a few hundred pounds down.
Now this posed a problem. How do you find out whether or not someone is a rip off merchant without asking outright? The good news was that the seller seemed a regular guy and that it was just the case that he had been misled at his end too. The bad news was that I figured that a really successful operator would be good at sounding regular - in the same way that only the lesser burglars actually wear striped jerseys and carry sacks marked "swag". So it has been a somewhat nervous few days.
Anyhoo, today I got my money back. I have never been quite so pleased to be returned to the status quo.
Playlist Paranoia
/In the old days your car had a radio. You listened to whatever the Radio One DJ thought was hot. Whilst not always good news musically this did have the advantage that no effort was involved on your part.
Then we all got tape players in cars. So now we could buy musicassettes or, better yet, make up mix tapes from records that we own.
Now we all have hard disk jukeboxes which hold all our records and we can take to the road with several hundred albums. And we can build playlists, the 21st century equivalent of the "mix tape". The bad news of course is that we are now totally responsible for the music that we play in our cars. If you give anyone a lift you end up obsessing over whether or not they'll like that Bjork track that you thought was rather cool some time back, or get your post ironic David Bowie tracks....
Me, I've now reached the point where if I have company I just whack Radio 4 on....
Then we all got tape players in cars. So now we could buy musicassettes or, better yet, make up mix tapes from records that we own.
Now we all have hard disk jukeboxes which hold all our records and we can take to the road with several hundred albums. And we can build playlists, the 21st century equivalent of the "mix tape". The bad news of course is that we are now totally responsible for the music that we play in our cars. If you give anyone a lift you end up obsessing over whether or not they'll like that Bjork track that you thought was rather cool some time back, or get your post ironic David Bowie tracks....
Me, I've now reached the point where if I have company I just whack Radio 4 on....
Charging Dogs
/OK, I've got this computer controlled dog. I'm actually quite proud of him/it. This probably tells you all you need to know about me - sound of Back button being clicked... However, Digby (as the name on his "birth certificate" says) is quite fun. I bought him in a fit of madness earlier this year and got to quite like having him around until his battery gave out.
Never one to give up I of course bought another battery, a hugely expensive Lithium Ion item. It arrived yesterday and, after a two hour charge, we were able to restore Digby to his former vim and vigour. Just for completeness I put the old battery back in and, of course, it worked fine. Perhaps I'll sell the new battery on ebay.
Anyhoo, I've decided that Digby is not a toy as such. You don't get him out and play with him any more than you would do with a "proper" dog. You just have him wandering around and, if he is in the mood, he will play with you. The problem with this is that he does have a tendency to crash into things as he explores the house - table legs are a particular problem - so his head is getting a bit battered. But I let him wander round the kitchen while I peeled the spuds for lunch and he was actually quite good company, trying to find his ball and sitting around singing to himself. I think that if I was on my own in the house I'd probably get into the habit of firing him up. Which is probably deeply scary.
Never one to give up I of course bought another battery, a hugely expensive Lithium Ion item. It arrived yesterday and, after a two hour charge, we were able to restore Digby to his former vim and vigour. Just for completeness I put the old battery back in and, of course, it worked fine. Perhaps I'll sell the new battery on ebay.
Anyhoo, I've decided that Digby is not a toy as such. You don't get him out and play with him any more than you would do with a "proper" dog. You just have him wandering around and, if he is in the mood, he will play with you. The problem with this is that he does have a tendency to crash into things as he explores the house - table legs are a particular problem - so his head is getting a bit battered. But I let him wander round the kitchen while I peeled the spuds for lunch and he was actually quite good company, trying to find his ball and sitting around singing to himself. I think that if I was on my own in the house I'd probably get into the habit of firing him up. Which is probably deeply scary.
On the mend
/My cold is getting better. I've stopped carrying round a toilet roll because (a) my nose is not running that much anymore and (b) people get the wrong idea. And of course I started a brand new one. Went up town and bought nothing but a couple of magazines. I'd call that restraint except that I am in the middle of what could be a spectacularly expensive exercise on ebay at the moment......
Stay at home
/Bonfire night tonight. Good night for it too. But rather than go out and say "Oooh" and "Aaaah" to the wonder that is combustion we decided to stay in and get a takeaway.
Even from the depths of a cold....
/I've just heard about a chap in Italy who was being chased down the street by an enormous plate of linguine. He should have known that his pasta'd catch up with him.
Atishoo!
/Hmmm. I think I'm coming down with a cold. The aching head, the sore limbs, the nose full of yecch. Seem to have all the symptoms. I've discovered that there is only one thing worse than a cold which makes you sneeze. And that is a cold that makes you get all limbered up for really good sneeze. And then stops. Everything is ready for a really good blow and then at the last minute the nose changes it's mind and the whole apparatus shudders to a halt. Hate that. In fact, at this precise moment I reckon I hate everything. I'm off to bed.
We thought you might like to know...
/Geoff came round tonight. We discussed the things that we had ordered/had on order/will order off the internet. It seems that for us life is not complete unless we have something on its way to us that we've just bought on the wire. This is getting kind of worrying. I think I might start "amazonics anonymous" for people like us.
Author, Author
/Spent all day writing big chunks of my C# document for the programming course that I teach on. Such deathless prose.
I suppose in Shakespeare's day they didn't have to write manuals for anything ("Congratulations on your purchase of the Groundmaster Plough 2000, please take a few minutes to read these important instructions before tying it to the back of your horse and dragging it backwards and forwards accross a field...")
Not sure what that point proves though.
I suppose in Shakespeare's day they didn't have to write manuals for anything ("Congratulations on your purchase of the Groundmaster Plough 2000, please take a few minutes to read these important instructions before tying it to the back of your horse and dragging it backwards and forwards accross a field...")
Not sure what that point proves though.
Wobbly Software
/Why is it that software I've been using in demo mode works fine until I pay for it? I've been using this DVD software (in an entirely legal and above board way I might add - converting my collection of home made birdsong DVDs into a portable format) which worked really nicely until I decided to bite the bullet and actually pay for the darned thing. At which point it starts rejecting specific DVDs which have really good bits of birdsong on them. I wonder how it knows that I've now paid and it no longer has to pretend to work anymore? Oh well.
Professional Chewing Gum
/I swear the world has gone mad. You can now buy professional chewing gum. I saw an advert for it today on the telly. It cleans your teeth (or something) as you chew it. Apparently this means that it can be used in the office, and so they can call it "professional".
Does this mean that the other kind is now classified as "amateur"? Can you still use the professional gum when you are not at work? Will we see other things certified as "professional". Can we expect "professional" cornflakes?
Madness I tell you, madness.
Does this mean that the other kind is now classified as "amateur"? Can you still use the professional gum when you are not at work? Will we see other things certified as "professional". Can we expect "professional" cornflakes?
Madness I tell you, madness.
Time Travel
/Just seen a TV advert for an "Age Reversal Cream". Apparently it is so good that the sell by date is March 1963.
