Unstoppable Movie Review

The new Windows Phone takes really good pictures. I guess it helps if you hold it straight though.

Tonight we went out to see “Unstoppable”. My first movie where the bad guy is a train. And no, “Starlight Express” does not count here. Neither does “Thomas the Tank Engine”. And anyway, Thomas was a “Really Useful Engine".  But I digress.

Unstoppable is a darned good film. At the start it says “Inspired by true events”.Indeed. Although I’m sure I would have seen something in the papers if what happened in the film did actually happen.

Real life not withstanding it is very well made, well acted and looks terrific. The kind of film that you need a big screen and loud sound for. Don’t let anything stop you seeing it.

Iron Man 2 Movie Review

Went to see Iron Man 2 last week. Take one spoonful of Fantastic Four light heartedness and add two spoonfuls of Spiderman angst. Throw in a bar of soap and a bunch of high grade special effects and you are done.

The movie wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t that great either. The first one seemed to have more of a plot than this one, which had a whole saggy lump in the middle where our hero has an “end-life crisis”. I can’t fault the acting, Robert Downey JR is very watchable in the title role, but I would really have liked a little bit more than one robot fighting another robot (or bunch of robots). If you like superhero films you won’t be disappointed, but I don’t think you’ll be that overwhelmed either.

Clash of the Titans Movie Review

 
Looks a bit too much like Wayne Rooney for me. And no, I don’t mean the one with the snakey hair.

We saw the first Clash of the Titans movie (the one with the clockwork owl) on our honeymoon many years ago. The new one has moved things on a bit. The clockwork owl has been replaced by Gemma Atherton (something of a step up I reckon, although number one wife was less convinced) and we now have a lot of CGI. The story remains broadly the same, and is none the worse for that. 

There is plenty of derring-do from the good guys and Ralph Fiennes, who seems to be cleaning up in ultimate bad guy roles, does a very nice “Voldermort with better hair” kind of act as Hades. The funniest bits are when we are at home with the gods, whose exploration of aluminium foil based clothing has to be seen to be believed.

If you want to see a big dumb action deity powered movie, a sort of “Transformers with Myths” then you will not be disappointed. I wasn’t.

Alice in Wonderland Movie Review

I like the bar in Cineworld

Alice in Wonderland the movie is a Tim Burton realisation of the story, as paid for by Disney. It doesn’t tell a Lewis Carol version but dials things on a bit to send Alice back down the rabbit hole in search of the Vorpal sword to kill the Jabberwocky or some such rubbish(very impressed with the spell checker here – it seems to know the word Jabberwocky).

The plot is actually a bit thin and you can almost hear them checking things off as we go through the film. Blue caterpillar – check,  Mad Hatter – check, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum – check, Cheshire Cat – check, all though we’ll call him Chess to make it seem a bit more modern.  Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter is a highlight, played as for Willy Wonka with a different hairstyle, no chocolate to speak of. And a hat.

I quite liked the film. It was in 3D, which made a difference to the price but didn’t add much else for me. I wonder if one day they might do an experiment, where they turn the 3D effect off for an audience and see if anyone notices. I doubt they will ever do this though, as they might find out that nobody does.

In fact, I’ll put on my gadget pundit hat at this point and say that I don’t think 3D will ever really catch on.  This is not just because, with my dodgy eyes, I can’t actually see in 3D, but rather because we don’t really need it. Sure there will be set pieces like Avatar where the effect is very well integrated into the production, but if you had said to me last night “Two quid off the price to watch in normal 2D” I would have taken the money like a shot.

3D in the home sounds even more unlikely. Having to put on dorky glasses to get the full benefit of Question Time in 3D seems a pretty fruitless exercise, and I’m not really up to spending a huge wodge of cash on upgrading my TVs again just for that. And apparently in the wrong hands the effect can make you more than a bit seasick. Maybe I’m wrong here, but bearing in mind that we haven’t even got High Definition TV yet (which is worth the money by the way) then I think 3D will be a long time coming.

Avatar (and Sherlock Holmes) Film Review

We went to see Avatar tonight. This was our third attempt to see the film. The first time we were snowed out, the second time it was full and we had to go and see Sherlock Homes instead.

Sherlock Homes is a blast. Just don’t go expecting to see anything which will stretch you intellectually (although it will stretch your credibility quite a lot). It has a lot in common with the Dan Brown novels. There are sinister cartels, strange goings on in high places and maps with lines drawn on them that point to the most obvious places - An attack on the Houses of Parliament? And not the whelk stall next door to it? How surprising.

Anyhoo, I found the Sherlock served up by Robert Downey Jr. much more fun than Robert Langton and Victorian London was very well realised.  If you have any pre-conceived ideas about Homes or Watson I suggest you leave them at the door though, along with a big chunk of your brain…

Avatar is a bit deeper. but only just. It was a story of  attempts by an evil company to subjugate the population of a planet made up entirely of scenes from old Yes and Ossibiza album covers (Note this is a very old reference, but if you are as old as me you can remember the art of Roger Dean). They - The Evil Company (tm)  that is – hire a crippled marine who is the genetically identical twin of his much more useful scientist brother, who was killed before the start of the film for reasons of plot.  Their Evil Plan (tm) is to gain the confidence of the natives and get intelligence by using a remote controlled Avatar which is bonded to our marine. Unfortunately (for the company) he goes native in a rather spectacular way, by falling for the Chief’s daughter (Who’d have thought?) and then things get explosively nasty.

The film is in 3D and this part works very well. At the start I was surprised by things that appeared to come out of the screen but by the end I was just watching a movie in 3D. And very impressive it was too.

As you would expect from a James Cameron film, the action sequences are great, but if you want deep philosophical content then you will have to look somewhere else. I think for me the most important aspect was the way that the computer generated elements were so well fused with the real actors and how the computer produced characters were both non-cartoonish and on the right side of the uncanny valley. Pretty soon we won’t need actors I reckon.

Up Movie Review

Go and see Up. Just go.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Movie Review

This is the nth Harry Potter movie, in a series of n+2. I don’t know all the details about the numbering really I’m afraid. The movies, along with Harry, have changed a bit over the years, from an apple cheeked youngster getting into wizard scrapes we now have a somewhat more angular, and angst ridden youth who spends a whole film doing not very much.

That isn’t to say it is a bad film. The 153 minutes pass smoothly enough and there are some story developments although, like the last film, they all happen in the last twenty minutes or so. You get the feeling that this film (and probably the next one too) are treading water a bit until the real baddy turns up and we can get the big guns out. There are some things that seem to happen just to give a bit of light relief from all the unrequited love and gathering gloom and doom, but they are all very well done. Harry Potter, if nothing else, is a mark for a very high level of production quality and a whole bunch of excellent British character actors turn out to show their skills.

If you like Harry Potter, and have read the books, then the film is for you. If not, they you probably wouldn’t go near the film anyway.

Anvil the Movie

What do you do if you’ve been trying to make it as a Rock God for thirty years and not made it yet?

Keep trying.

The story of Anvil is the kind of thing you wouldn’t make up, because nobody would believe you. The tale of two childhood friends that formed a band, headlined in Japan thirty years ago as the Heaviest of Heavy Metal and then, through bad luck and bad management, totally failed to go anywhere, is utterly implausible.

And yet it works, mainly due to the likeability of the two men behind the band. When we first meet them they are going about their day jobs, delivering school dinners and doing a bit of building work, planning a tour of Europe that could be their big break.  Except that it doesn’t really quite turn out like that.

So they come back again, and try with their thirteenth album to break through into the mainstream. And then? Well, you will have to get to the movie and see.

But I don’t think you will be disappointed.

Coraline Movie Review

Went to see Coraline tonight. It was in 3D, which explained the unexpectedly high price and the glasses we had to wear (and they actually let us keep this time).

Coraline is a stop motion film where they used proper models, from the same stable as The Nightmare Before Christmas.  I suspect some computer trickery was involved during some of the sequences, but overall it remained true to its roots in the real world.

The story, about a child who finds a parallel world which seems much nicer than her dreary real one, is well told with some genuinely scary moments (even for a grown up like me). But the real star is the world itself, which looks fantastic.

If you like a scary tale it is worth a trip. If you enjoy good graphic art and design you should definitely go.

Angels and Demons Movie Review

Apparently the Catholic Church is not very happy with the film “Angels and Demons”, from the Dan Browne novel with the same name. I hadn’t expected the Vatican to have a movie review side to their business, but having seen the film I know what they mean.

I thought the Tomb Raider films had pretty much scraped the barrel on dodgy plotlines, evil blokes in cassocks and thousand year old secret societies. I was wrong. And at least with them we got Lara Croft to look at and some nice jungle scenery every now and then. Here we just got Tom Hanks with his furrowed brow and the inside of some churches. And a lady physicist in high heels who occasionally popped up to translate some Latin or spout some duff physics.

It took all my iron will and resolve to keep from having hysterics when the bad guy, thoroughly nasty all the way to his “straight from central casting” steel rimmed glasses, and having just laid waste to half of the Italian police force, pointed his weapon at our hero and said “I will not shoot you, because you do not carry a gun and I have not been ordered to”. I’m pretty sure that as he turned away I heard him add “..and also because you are Tom Hanks”.

The good news is that I spotted the bad guy right at the start. The better news for me is that I did this without having had to wade through the book first.

And to think I could have gone into the screen next door and watched Star Trek again. What a waste.

Star Trek Review… but not as we know it

First things first. The movie delivers. From exploding planets to starship battles to green women in bed with James T, Kirk. They even had a chap turn up with a forgettable name in a red outfit who joined the mission and then was summarily disposed of. The only thing missing was a self destruct sequence, but then blowing up the brand new Enterprise in the first movie is probably not a plan I suppose.

The elephant in the room is of course that once you open up the possibility of alternative timelines (and Star Trek has been doing this for years – at least in this timeline) then they can do pretty much anything they like with the plots and characters. So they have. And it is great.

The new Captain Kirk works really well. And doesn’t have an actor who. puts. extra. full. stops. in. the. middle. of. his. sentences.  However, the new Spock is even better. They seem to have a found cast of folks I’ve never seen before and this is fine too, because you are seeing the character first, which with this kind of baggage is the only way to travel.

Everything works, everything is shiny, and I’m definitely going to see it again.

Let’s hope that that the inevitable sequels are as good.

Monsters vs Aliens

Went to see this film last night. I’m a sucker for computer animated movies, and this one has been quite well reviewed.

I enjoyed it. We saw it in 3D, which meant funny glasses and a slightly dimmer picture than normal. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to this part, the last 3D movie that we saw, Bolt, was OK but the 3D effects weren’t that noticeable and not worth the hassle in my opinion. Not so with this film. I got the feeling that they really went for the 3D angle with the direction, there were lots of scenes where things were pointed at you, or flew past your head. Great fun and worth the trip.

Slumdog Millionaire

I wasn't sure if this was the kind of film that I'd enjoy, but everyone else wanted to go and so I went along.  Glad I did.

The plot of Slumdog Millionaire sounds a bit trivial. A poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks gets a shot at the Indian version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". However, there is a lot more to it than that.  With every question answered there comes another step on the backstory that builds to a very satisfactory climax.

The film is beautifully shot and captures a lot of gritty detail about life in India, but it also shows how the human spirit can triumph in just about any circumstance. The actors are particularly impressive, particularly the child cast who are brilliant. Some bits are hard to watch, but in the end I think you will find the film worth the effort.

the Day the Earth Stood Still

We had a great office lunch today. Good food, good company, and I also got a set of measuring spoons in my cracker. Excellent.

Then, in the evening we went out to see "The Day the Earth Stood Still". This is a remake of a classic Sci-Fi film from way back, a tale of an enigmatic alien, his giant robot and shiny spherical spaceship on a mission to destroy all human life. Oh, and a mother with issues with her stepson.

Keanu Reeves didn't have much of a challenge playing the man from outer space. The biggest surprise to me was that nobody referred to him as "Mr. Anderson" at any point in the movie.  

The plot was pretty hackneyed, but resolved neatly enough at the end. One rather striking thing was the sheer number of product placements for a film where, at the climax, every machine in the world stops working. There was one bit where the heroine picked up her LG mobile phone just before checking her Citizen watch. The camera lingered just long enough for the names of these consumer durables to register, completely ignoring the fact that she didn't make a call, and at the end of the world perhaps the last thing that you really want to know is exactly what time it is. 

As a bit of escapism with full on special effects it does the trick, but don't go expecting anything else.

Bond Fire Night

Went out to see "Quantum of Solace", the new Bond film.  Didn't really fancy watching anything outdoors, what with the truly horrible weather. So it was off to Vue in the middle of Hull for fireworks of the indoor kind.

We drove through what seemed to be a "Festival of Bad Driving" to get to the theatre, what with death wish cyclists, deranged lane changers and someone who seemed to want to race me round the car park, our nerves were pretty shredded before the film started....

I wasn't sure what to expect. Some of the critics have been a bit "ho hum" about this one, but I think is because the novelty of a new Bond is starting to wear off as Daniel Craig beds into the part. They may have a point about the plot, which seems to have reverted back to standard Bond faire, with sinister world domination types coming back to the fore.

Having said that, the whole thing was done with conviction and style and everybody played their role very well. It was definitely a bit bleak though, if you are looking for smug type endings with Bond and babe under a fur rug somewhere in the sun you are going to be disappointed. But if you are looking for another good action thriller, you won't be.

Get Smart

I never really saw much of the original "Get Smart" TV show. Made in the sixties, it was a moderately successful spoof of all the spy shows that were popular at the time.

Since Hollywood these days seems to be based on strip mining the past for movie ideas it was only a matter of time before they got around to making a film. Get Smart the movie is actually quite good. The original Maxwell Smart  character was a bit of an idiot. Steve Carel stars as the new one and does a good job of portraying him as more of a nerd than a buffoon, as he and Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) take on the forces of Kaos. Some of the comedy is a bit broad, and the script creaks a bit under the weight of the big budget that seem to have been thrown at it. But there are laughs to be had and I enjoyed it a lot more than the reviews say I should have.

One thing that did irritate though was the way that the projectionist at CineWorld neglected to open up the gate on the projector, so that rather than seeing the film in proper widescreen we just got the same dimensions as we can get on the telly at home. They did this last week when we saw Hellboy as well.

I'm not sure if this is a new policy, with films being made to fit DVDs rather than cinemas, but you do feel a bit cheated. The actual print itself was pretty horrid too, with poor definition and muddy colours. I think from now on we will go to Vue in town, where they have an all digial setup which is far superior in quality.

Hellboy II - The Golden Army

Went to see the new Hellboy movie tonight. I'm running at one movie a week at the moment. I can't see a problem with that.

Most enjoyable film. Where else can you get ancient cursers, bone eating fairies, myths, magic and Barry Manilow. 

I kid you not. Whereas Batman upped the darkness, X-Files upped the angst and the Mummy just did everything it did before, only not quite as well, the new Hellboy film goes for comedy. And it mostly works. The good news is that everything else is in place too. Scary monsters, fairly convincing baddies, great action sequences and a daft story line that resolved itself quite well but leaves plenty of scope for another sequel.

We are not looking at a movie event here folks, although there are some genuinely surprising touches, including the aforementioned singer. The director has obviously watched a fair few Harry Potter movies, along with the Cantina sequence in the first Star Wars, but the film is all the better for that.

Not a bad way to spend an evening.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

If my years on this planet have taught me one thing, it is that the secret to true happiness is properly managing your expectations. I had high expectations of the new Batman movie, and that paid off. I had somewhat lower expectations of the new Mummy movie (and I guess that the next Hellboy release fits somewhere between these two, expectation wise).

Anyhoo, I think  was just about right. The first Mummy was a great film. This one grates a bit, but is generally OK. There are some nice lines and reasonable set pieces, and it is quite relaxing to go and see a film where you can predict the happy ending after around fifteen minutes into the picture. Trust me, Batman is not like that. I got the impression that this one was done a bit on the cheap, but perhaps the lush visuals of the Dark Knight have spoiled me a bit in this respect.

There is talk at the moment about plans to stop serving popcorn in movie theatres as it makes a bit of a mess and is thought to be somewhat downmarket in these sophisticated times. That would be a pity, as it is the perfect thing to eat during films like this.

The Dark Knight

We went to see the Dark Knight last night. And it was dark. What are the chances eh?

We were lucky enough to see it at IMAX in Bradford, on the huuuuuge screen. And it was great. A bit bleak perhaps, although there were some points where the finer aspects of human nature rose to the fore they tended to be slapped down again by the generally better organised forces of evil. They seemed to have unlimited supplies of barrels full of explosive that they could move around Gotham city and wire up at will.

Batman as a character doesn't really get the chance to do much but those around him more than make up for this, with a truly astounding  performance by Heath Ledger who doesn't much seem to perform the role of the joker as inhabit it. 

They seemed determined to give good value to the cinema goer, with set piece after set piece and some really cracking scenes. This perhaps made the film a little overlong, but the pace never lets up. And the sound is worthy of special mention, with very impressive bangs and crashes that really packed a punch.

It is very violent, particularly given the 12A rating, but you really should see it.

The X-Files Movie - I really wanted to believe

Just got back from the X-Files movie. I was expecting lights in the sky, backlit gray aliens and lines like "You're dealing with powers beyond your comprehension". What I got was a somewhat grisly movie with a sub-1950s horror story plot and a whole boat load of angst.

Much has been made of the way that the film breaks away from the original X-Files staples of global conspiracy, alien invasion and strange goings on from "out there". Unfortunately it seems to also have jettisoned original plotlines and anything particularly engaging about Mulder and Sculley, who spent a lot of time grappling with "issues" and pulling unhappy expressions.

If you are a fan of the TV show and the earlier movie I can't particularly recommend it. If you have never seen the X-Files before I don't think you will particularly enjoy it either.